


Rain Hits the Dirt

by evanesce96 (goodmorningvietnam666)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Gore, Heartbreak, Humour, M/M, Mystery, Not Canon Compliant, Rated for Levi's Language, Romance, Series Spoilers, Some manga spoilers, Suspense, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:29:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8329657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorningvietnam666/pseuds/evanesce96
Summary: ‘Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle’.~ Charles Dickens
After the assault on Stohess, the Scouts are left with no moves to make, and nowhere to truly go. Squad Levi has been replaced, and their leader, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier is left to bring them to his level, all while reeling from the loss of his squad. Among his problems is one Eren Yeager, who is slowly but surely wearing down his resolve, seducing him with stutters, blushes, and fleeting touches. Levi's not sure how to stop these ridiculous, distracting emotions, and for some reason, he doesn't quite want to. He knows that opening up, that loving someone, will likely kill him... But maybe it's worth is for Eren. As though his problems were not numerous enough; a specialised expedition, given to Levi Squad by Commander Erwin Smith, uncovers new evidence, that turns out to be deadlier than the Titans themselves.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes, before I get into the actual story. 
> 
> 1\. This piece of fiction was originally requested by a friend, who asked that I watch Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin and then write her a piece of fanfiction. She asked that I make her sad. 
> 
> 2\. I got very excited about the anime, and started writing before I finished the season, and before I started reading the manga, meaning a huge amount of this piece is speculation, or pure headcanon: it will likely only have some references to the actual events of the manga. 
> 
> 3\. On that note, this piece is severely fannish, with a lot of things I'd like to see, or would have liked to see, within the manga and the anime. Anything I have simply added because I'm a glutton for ridiculous headcanons will be referenced in notes at the end of the relevant chapter. 
> 
> 4\. This work is only self-edited: if you find a mistake don't be afraid to point it out.
> 
> 5\. I'd love feedback on this initial chapter, as I won't be posting the next for at least two weeks, given the fact that the piece is still going through the editing phase.
> 
> 6\. Big One: Triggers, lots of them: I won't spoil anything, but be careful.
> 
> I think that about covers it for now, so, please, enjoy this piece of fiction that took over my life for two long months.

_“I’d like to respectfully turn down the awards the brass has bestowed upon me” Levi holds up his jacket, battered and wrinkled, stained with blood “And I’m retiring”_

_Both claims are like letting loose the chains he has to this world behind the walls, and Erwin doesn’t stop him, offers him the smallest of smiles as he takes the jacket “Alright, Levi… good luck”_

_It’s not hard to leave, not really: there’s nothing left to tie him here, and he smiles at the sight of the sun, reaching its peak in the sky._

_The burden of everything doesn’t quite lift, but it’s easier with his eyes on the horizon, back to Wall Maria, to forget the loss of friends and family.  
Easier still, to run away._

“That’s pretty depressing, as far as fantasies go, sir”

Levi glances up from his glass, the alcohol within it winking at him, his movements slow and heady, levels Petra with an even look “It’s honest, and those are the rules of this game”

Eld chuckles “From now on, let’s stick to questions that don’t make our Lieutenant poetic”

“Fuck off, Eld” he drawls, and his squad chuckles softly, falls silent for a moment. 

“I’ve one” Oruo speaks up, eyes circle the group “What’s the biggest secret you’re keeping? All of us may as well answer”

“It’s no secret that you’re the Lieutenant’s biggest fan” Eld grins, snickers when the younger male shoves at him with a squawk of protest. 

“I hate watching new recruits walk in here, hope and naiveté in their eyes” Gunther’s gaze does not waver, and he looks to Petra, who shrugs, and drinks. 

They all protest, laugh and jeer as she looks on smugly: this is a drinking game, tell the truth, or drink.

Levi’s drunk enough already, and Oruo very cleverly takes a drink as well: Levi knows exactly what the younger male’s secret is, hopes one day he’ll tell Petra he loves her, before it is too late. 

Eld shrugs, examines his glass “I don’t want to get married… I know I joke about finding a nice girl and settling down but… I couldn’t do it; I don’t think”

“You could always marry Holt” Gunther’s grin is intoxicating, and Eld shoves him with a grin. 

Their eyes turn to Levi, and he thinks on the question: he has many secrets, his relationship with Commander Erwin is one of them, but he thinks that’s far too personal. 

Considering how strained that relationship is right now, he doubts telling them would do much good, he won’t have to keep the secret anymore, if their silent treatment continues. 

Levi hums, picks up his drink and feels his squad tense, puts it back down with a teasing smirk, laughs when Petra scowls at him “You shouldn’t tease, sir”

“Alright” he looks to them “It won’t leave this room?” and they nod seriously, enough that he replies with one of his own “You four are like family to me, and I am proud to be your Lieutenant, to have your respect, and implicit trust.” 

Eld frowns “Are you dying, sir?”

“I don’t want any regrets, Eld, and you asked for the truth” he raises his glass “Drunk enough as it is”

Eld raises his own with a smirk “To you, then, sir: our fearless leader”

### 

**Years Later, After The Titan Assault On Stohess…**

The chamber is blissfully quiet, no sound to echo on solid stone, the only light in the room is provided by the subject of his guard: Annie Leonhart.  
In two or more hours, his shift will change, and with it, night will change to day, he will train recruits as though he managed to get eight hours’ sleep tonight and yell at those under his command with the same fervour as usual. 

As if to remind him of the absurdity of his thoughts, his leg pulses in dulled pain; it’s not deadly, nor is it crippling, but it is certainly holding him back, keeping him guessing as to when it will give and when it will meet his expectations. As a result, he is often not seen training, nor practising, where others can watch, due to fear of appearing weak, or appearing fallible. 

The door creaks open, heavy and wooden, haunting in this unfamiliar room. It’s Hange, she carries two mugs of something that steams invitingly, and Levi accepts the proffered cup with a nod, watching as the Section Commander sits beside him, sipping from the mug in her own hand. 

“How long are we going to keep this up?” The silence, it seems, was too much for her to bear.  
Levi sighs, “Until the top brass isn’t furious with Erwin, I imagine” stretching out his legs and running a hand through his hair “It’s not so bad”

“Has she moved?” Hange neither acknowledges or dismisses his response, and Levi shakes his head, watches her frown in thought “What scares me is that she might, some day, that this” she gestures at the crystal “This might be some trick.”

Levi hums softly, the sound rumbling in the back of his throat “She frightens me too”

“She… She does?” If Hange is surprised, she is very good at not showing it. 

He nods, drinking from his mug as a form of pause, “Have I ever told you about my first day out as a Scout?” at the shake of her head, Levi shrugs, “Top of my class, a natural at ODM, quick to learn in combat and adaptive in academics: I thought I knew everything” He closes his eyes and bows his head “I got cocky in the field - tried something fancy – and an abnormal caught me in its mouth” he holds out his hand, clenches it into a tight fist, “Bit down like you or I would an apple, the medics were amazed none of my organs were affected, that it only broke most of my ribs, cracked a hip bone, and gave me a minor fracture to my shoulder”

Hange hisses in sympathy, and he shrugs again “Erwin came out of nowhere, cut the beast down and saved my life… I cleaned up my act as soon as I could stand”

He frowns, forgetting for a moment why he is telling Hange this “It recognised Erwin as a threat, stopped biting as he drew close… They are animals: they kill because it is all they know, for one reason: sport” Levi eyes the crystal that is protecting the woman who murdered his squad and countless others in cold blood. 

“Humans, however, we’re a little more complicated: we kill for numerous reasons; for fun, to see if we can do it, because we are forced to, because we are angry, sad, or confused…” He shakes his head “To know what it’s like, for an answer to some twisted agenda, to survive… because our pasts are terrible and our world is cruel, sometimes because it is not this way, and we need no excuse” Levi turns to Hange, she has not looked away, and he meets her eyes “Humans are complex because we kill for more than one reason, often for all of them… Titans don’t scare me, Four-Eyes, they never have: Humans, however, humans scare me”

The silence between them stretches; Levi watches Annie, drinks the cooling tea, massages his leg tenderly. 

Hange chuckles, brushes her hair away from her eyes “Three dogs: I’ll name the biggest Levi”

“What was that, Four-Eyes?” He whips his head around to catch her eyes. 

“Three dogs” she smiles “When this war with the Titans ends, I’m going to buy a big house, stupidly big, and own three dogs: that’s what I think about, when things get grim” she shrugs “What I’m going to do when the war ends”

Levi nods, brow furrowing, and the door to the room is no different than the last time he looked to it. There are faint sounds of movement above them, around them, a sign that morning was coming. 

“What about you Levi?” Hange’s eyes are firm, unafraid as he looks back to her “What do you want? What are you going to do when this war ends?”

Levi frowns “I hadn’t thought about it… what did Erwin say?”

Hange blinks at him, and he’s caught her in another of her experiments, he thinks “He just stared at me, and said _‘If’_ … frustrating, that man”

Levi chuckles, smirks, because that’s what he had expected of their Commander “Chase the horizon” he sighs “I fell in love with that skyline when I was young, and _if_ I survive, I’ll follow it until I can’t anymore”. 

“Wow” Hange laughs after a moment of silence “Poetic, Levi, I didn’t know you had that in you”

“Oh, fuck off” he drawls, Hange laughs, and he smirks “I’d like to have a conversation with you that doesn’t make me feel like shit, some day.” He stands, following her lead, nods to the Scouts that salute him as he excites the room, “Let’s talk about the weather, next time” 

Hange slings an arm around his shoulders “I hope the sun is shining when the war ends”

Levi doesn’t push her away as they stroll outside, and the sun hits his back with its searing heat “It will rain, on that day” he glares up at the sun, hot even though it’s early.

“Predicting the weather, Levi?”

“No” Around him, Scouts are awake, bleary eyed and chatting with their comrades, a sea of green and brown “But it will rain, maybe the droplets will hit people’s cheeks more than anywhere else, and in some places, the rain will pour more heavily: but it will rain, I can guarantee you that”

“And will this inevitable rain soak you, or will you remain untouched by it?” Hange is very clever, to understand his meaning, but Levi’s known this for years, and he offers her a secretive smile. 

“If we both live through this, I suppose you’ll find out”  



	2. Chapter One

The 104th have been moved to his care: a young squad of 9 that includes his charge, Eren Yeager. Despite the fact that they are still green around the edges, they are diligent and honest, respectful of Levi and his authority. 

He can’t have asked for a better task than commanding these kids. They salute, crisp and assured, at his approach, and he stands before them. 

“At ease” he walks along their line, looks for signs of weariness, before lowering his eyes to their harnesses. “Gear inspection, jackets off”

All but Yeager hesitate, Blouse is the one to speak up, her hand in the air gains his attention “Lieutenant?”.

He raises a brow at her “I’ll not have an accident because of faulty equipment, Blouse, jackets off” his voice is firmer, and it drives them to action, jackets falling into one hand, held by the collar.

Ackerman is first, and he doesn’t touch her, knowing just from the buckles, from the firm hold the straps have on her legs, that the harness is secure; he checks the back support, and looks for wear on the gear, as he would have for his old squad, and moves on. 

Braun is next, and one strap is a little loose, so he tightens it without prompt, adjusts the way it sits against his thigh. Hoover’s gear is immaculate, the wear on the gear is barely noticeable. 

Yeager’s gear is loose, and Levi spends some time adjusting, remembering that the boy needs more flexibility in some areas, that the back harness needs to have less give, remembers seeing the boy use manoeuvre gear and makes adjustments as necessary. “Tighten up the straps around your upper thigh” he clips the mentioned straps so they are correctly cinched “And give yourself breathing room at the front” he loosens the chest strap, hears Yeager let out a sharp breath, and ignores the blush that is dashed across his cheeks as he always does. 

Kirstein’s gear needs adjustment at the hip, he forces down the smirk when the boy makes a sharp noise as he tightens the belt. Springer’s gear is firm, Blouse’s has a wear around the calf that worries him, Lenz’s gear is as immaculate as Hoover’s, Ymir’s is much the same, though less clean. 

Arlert is last, and his gear is clean, tight where it needs to be, loose as it should be, and it almost makes him grin. 

“Very good, 104th” he double-checks his own gear “Let’s move out to the trees”

There is a forest just outside of the supply base they are stationed at, and often Levi would use it for his own training, dissatisfied with the artificial training areas most of their bases supply. They anchor into trees, two to a branch, and Levi’s blood is singing with the aspect of flying between trees once more.  
He’s been addicted to the rush of Omni-Directional Manoeuvring since his Cadetship: it’s a taste of freedom beyond the walls, an intoxicating rush he hopes he never grows tired of.

“The goal for today is strength and dexterity” he moves to a tree that sits between those his squad are perched on “Oftentimes these two skills are not complimentary: you will find that a soldier will have one and not the other” he runs his gaze along the young men and women, not bothering to appraise Ackerman, whom he has every confidence knows this fact already. 

“My squad is never like all the others: they are the elite, given the risk-high missions and sent after 15 metre abnormal Titans. If you fight with me, I expect the best and no less than that”

Raising hands is apparently common among the 104th, and he nods to Springer who lowers his hand “Does that mean we have to learn that spinning thing you do, sir? Because I don’t think I can do that”

There’s a collective chuckle among the group, and Levi smirks “No, I don’t expect acrobatics from all of you: the way you subjugate your targets is individual to you, what matters is that you get it right every time”.

“I’ve taken the liberty of marking certain trees with clear x’s: those are your targets. You’ll be given roughly five minutes to warm up with your gear, and once that five minutes is up, I will ask you to attack the targets” Levi breathes out, watches the squad, “You may begin to warm up”

Almost simultaneously, the group pushes off and begins swinging between trees, offering the odd gibe to their comrades as they pass one another. Levi follows them, passing them, looping around them, watching them for weaknesses and strengths in their movements.  
Ackerman, Lenz, Blouse and Springer all move with speed, focusing on movement and flexibility as they flit between branches and around trunks. Braun, Ymir, and Yeager are strength oriented, they anchor themselves to a point, land there if possible, and push off again, bursting forward before they slow to repeat the movement. Hoover, Kirstein and Arlert are somewhere between the two extremes: they are quick to change direction and adjust their position, but also use the trees to push themselves to greater speeds. 

Levi himself is about speed: impossible speeds that make up for his slight frame, allow him strength that surpasses those bigger and broader than himself. He twists and turns to achieve less wind resistance, shifts and uses his gas canisters to adjust quickly and succinctly. 

Once the five minutes are up, Ackerman is the first to strike a marked tree, and her blades leave a sizeable chunk missing from the trunk; Yeager is next, and the chunk is deeper, but shorter too: it would damage the nape of a 15 metre Titan, but not kill it. Kirstein’s is both long and deep enough, but it takes him too long to do: he’d be grabbed by another Titan in seconds. 

Ymir’s is adequate, it is of perfect length and slightly shallow, but it would work in a pinch; Lenz manages a shallow cut, and Levi barks at her to “Go back! That Titan’s not dead!”. Springer and Blouse both perform at the same level of adequacy: dead but too slow. Hoover and Braun each do perfectly, proving why they were part of the top three of their squad and Arlert is slow, too slow, he has to make two attempts at the tree to cut deep enough.

“Alright!” he anchors into a large tree and his feet hit the trunk “To me!”. 

His squad land close to him, taking the nearest branches and standing within arm’s length of one another. 

“Ackerman, Braun, Hoover” when they look to him, he nods “Very good” he turns away from the three “Springer, Blouse, Ymir, and Kirstein” they shift unsteadily beneath his gaze “Your attacks are nothing but adequate – work on your speed and strength when you’re out in the training field… the six of you may go”

The remaining three: Yeager, Lenz, and Arlert, are surprisingly calm, and Levi can’t resist the urge to raise a brow, satisfied when Yeager shifts his feet and avoids his gaze. 

“Yeager” the brunette’s eyes snap to his, and for a moment he is lost in them, forgotten in the sea of green and his heart lurches oddly “Work on the length of the cut – what you’re doing now won’t work on bigger Titans – you can’t rely on only depth” he turns to Lenz, who doesn’t hesitate to meet his gaze “Work on your coordination: you attack too soon and your speed suffers for it, you may go”

Arlert looks about to cry, and when Levi approaches him on the blonde’s chosen branch he flinches “Again” he says softly, anchoring to a tree maybe three meters out and marking it with a swift back and forth of his blades. 

Implicitly, Yeager adheres to the Levi’s silent request to join him, and after patting Arlert on the shoulder, lands on the same branch.  
Arlert approaches, and this time Levi is able to see the brief hesitation, watches the slow reaction to the target, and when the blades do not pierce the tree, he frowns. 

“Arlert” the blonde approaches and he raises a brow “Why are you hesitating?”

The boy’s hands wring together tightly “I… well, sir I just…”

“Is it because you don’t want to fuck it up?” Arlert flinches when he swears, but nods and Levi returns the gesture “Stop doubting yourself”

“I’m just afraid I’ll make the wrong decision; I don’t know if I’m making the right choices”

“Neither do I” he places a hand on the blonde’s shoulder, squeezes gently “Just make a decision and follow through: you can adapt if it goes wrong, without confidence, no decision you make will be the right one”

The next time Arlert attempts to attack the tree, the strike is strong, and a chunk of wood is sent flying from the trunk. Levi can’t help but smirk when Yeager and Arlert cheer. 

~~

His boots are heavy against the stone steps: it’s been a long, arduous day spent refining the skill of the 104th.

He wants a bath, or maybe a bucket of water poured over his head: either is fine. 

As he opens the heavy wood door, Erwin glances up from his desk, and offers him a firm look as he purses his lips, hands tightening their grip on his chair, which he likely hasn’t sat in all day, for a brief, almost imaginary, moment. 

“Levi”, the command to approach is tacit, and he’s never found it hard to obey the man who has saved his life in more ways than one. 

Today is, he hopes, the last day his leg gives him trouble; it is causing him to limp, not by much, but he knows Erwin notices, it’s in the way his brow knits together for a moment, before it smooths out and their eyes meet. 

“Sir” he says, and it’s not soft, it’s hard and crisp and echoes grossly off the walls, loud in the night rather than quiet like Erwin’s own greeting. 

“The brass won’t let us move, they’re convinced we need monitoring” Erwin’s eyes tell him that it’s been this way ever since they’d taken Yeager into their fold, since he’d met those jade coloured eyes glaring up at him from beneath his boot, maybe before even then. 

“We achieved nothing within Stohess, I don’t see a flaw in their logic” he folds his hands behind his back, hiding the fact that he is wringing them together, “You have a plan to get them to cut the chain, or at least let it out” 

“Our attempt to seal Wall Maria was halted by Leonheart” Erwin’s nod tells Levi he was right, and he’s not surprised: they’ve been Commander and Lieutenant long enough that they have no secrets, that they know one another better than most. “Without her to impede our progress, we may have a chance”

“A charge, then?” his brow furrows, hands clench, Erwin is dancing around complete answers. 

“No” Erwin’s hands move to press firmly against his desk “We need to survey the concentration of Titans, and take stock of the damage to the outer wall”

“You’re not chasing Yeager’s basement theory, are you?” he leaps to the conclusion, and is surprised when Erwin doesn’t berate him with logic “You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

“We have nothing” Erwin’s gaze is level, veiled, it brings Levi’s hands to clenching fists “Closing the wall is the first step to having something”

Levi shifts in place, folding his arms in front of his chest, “Your taskforce, sir?”

“I’ll take my elite”

“Your elite? That leaves us with Section Commander Hange’s forces as our strongest defence” He wants to pretend he doesn’t give a shit either way, but cannot silence himself in time. 

Erwin simply nods “It takes roughly three to four days by horse, if we’re careful, to reach Wall Maria”

‘So long as you don’t stop running’ Levi’s fists clench along with his jaw, in his efforts to keep his opinions to himself. “And the leader of this force?” 

“Myself”.

Levi bites his lip so hard he’s surprised it doesn’t bleed “Six days? I assume you realise the brass will panic, will likely cut you down for insubordination? We were told to stay put, and await further instruction”. 

“Not if this yields results” Erwin is clearly in no mood for argument, “It is better to beg forgiveness than ask permission”.

“Bullshit” Levi says, folding his arms, unafraid of the consequences “You and I both know this is a half-baked idea of desperation – You’d be better off waiting until-”

“You forget yourself, Lieutenant” Levi flinches at the rock hard tone, at the gleam in Erwin’s eyes “It is my decision, and I have made it: You are not of high enough rank to warrant this information, do you want me to stop keeping you in the loop?”

Levi bites back a retort: Erwin is capable of making this decision, he’s likely thought of every angle, studied every failure, every negative outcome, and deemed the positive worthy of this risk. So he nods, stiffly, the salute crisp, innate now from all the years he’s done it, and bows his head “Of course not, sir, I defer to your judgement of the situation, and wish you luck”

Levi doubts very much they will succeed, but does not question his orders: his Commander is in charge, he has the ability to think three steps ahead, where Levi can only act in the instance of a moment. 

He has faith in Erwin, always has, and he knows it is not, cannot be, misplaced.


	3. Chapter Two

He is out in the training field with his squad, watching and noting that Arlert has more than improved, that Ymir, Blouse and Springer took his criticism to heart, with restrained pride. 

It’s as Yeager brings down a dummy Titan with a resounding crack that a young rookie approaches him with shaking legs and a mixture of fear and admiration in his eyes. 

“Sir!” the salute is clunky, full of too much enthusiasm and fear of reprieve “Commander Erwin has returned: Section Commander Hange has requested you meet him at the gates, sir, as she is currently preoccupied”

Levi nods, turns to his squad “Keep this up for another hour, then run six laps of the field” he then turns to the rookie “Tell the Section Commander I will speak with her of the Commander’s condition once I have met with him”

The rookie snaps another salute and darts away as Levi heads to the gate, stutters in stride with the sight that greets him.

Erwin’s elite squad are splotched with dirt, blood, and grime, their expressions hard and unreadable, and as they dismount he snaps those at a higher rank than him a salute, which they nod in response to. It’s the sight of his Commander, covered in blood, eyes hard and deadened as he dismounts from his horse, that shocks him to the core. 

From the shoulder down, Erwin’s right arm is gone, blood has stained his shirt, and the inside of his jacket, which has lost its sleeve. His hand twitches with the need to investigate, but he holds his salute, holds his concern back behind apathy, and allows his Commander to pass him by with little more than a nod. 

He grips Mike by the arm, and the blonde stops to stand beside him after glancing to Erwin for longer than necessary “What happened?” it’s barely a murmur, above the din of horses and rookies whispering, and Mike guides them at a slow walk. 

“We’re still not sure” He sniffs, scowls, “Might have been a Titan-Shifter, might not have been… but it was big, bigger than the Colossal Titan: we didn’t stick around to investigate further” Mike’s eyes meet his “Could have used you: maybe we’d have had a chance against the swarm of Titans that met us head on by the second day” he shakes his head and Levi doesn’t respond. “Doesn’t matter: we all got out alive”

“I… I see” he folds his hands behind his back as they walk, as they enter the castle Levi eyes the hallway to Hange’s impromptu research area, “Did we get anything from this?”

Mike makes a small noise in the back of his throat “If Erwin wants you to know, I’m sure he’ll tell you: s’far as I’m, concerned, the expedition was a failure, but he’ll tell you, and me, different”

Levi chuckles, it turns to a snort when Mike frowns at him “I’m serious, Levi, this was… sudden, everything of late hasn’t felt right”

“If I ask what your nose is telling you, are you going to spout some cryptic bullshit?” he grins, and Mike huffs through his nose in a disproving manner. 

“All I know is that whatever that Titan was, is, it spells danger for the Survey Corps” Mike leaves him at Hange’s door, and Levi enters the room without hesitation. 

It’s dark, and the Section Commander is crowding over a scattering of notes, glasses gripping the edge of her nose as she scribbles haphazardly on a half-blank piece of paper. 

“Sorry Levi” she doesn’t bother to turn at his approach, thanks Moblit softly for another chunk of her research “Had a theory I wanted to get down: Erwin always picks the inconvenient times to return” she looks at him now that he is standing opposite her across the desk “What news from the outside?”

Levi snorts derisively “Shit all: they ran into an abnormal larger than the Colossal Titan” he sobers almost instantly, the venom disappearing from his tone “Erwin lost an arm”

Hange nods, her hand still moving across the page despite the fact that her eyes are on him “A Titan larger than the Colossal, eh? Did his squad get a good look at it?”

He raises a brow “I suppose: talk to Mike when you get the chance, I doubt the others will tell you what you want to know” Hange grins at him, and he scowls “What, Four-Eyes?”

“You’re worried about Erwin, aren’t you?”

Levi scoffs, folds his arms over his chest “No” he closes his eyes, sighs softly “Yes… His whole arm, Hange” she sobers, places a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’ll be alright, Levi: Erwin’s tough, I’m sure he’s still five steps ahead, despite this new Titan’s appearance” Levi nods in reply, and Hange laughs at him “You’re so bad at being apathetic sometimes, did you know that?”

“Fuck off, Four-Eyes” he snaps, but Hange only laughs “Oh, Levi, just go, kick Eren a couple times, that’ll make you feel better”

She practically howls with laughter when he levels her with a glare, opens his mouth, and closes it again with nothing to say. He can’t help but chuckle too, quietly, but enough that Hange hears him, and her eyes gleam with hidden delight. 

~~

He is not called to Erwin until the medics are done with him, until he is back in uniform, his shirt crisp and white, a new jacket with a pinned right sleeve covering his missing arm. It is strange to look at, like looking at a chess board and finding three white squares tiled together in one row. Odd, difficult not to notice, and annoying. 

They meet at a stairwell, the wind whips at the ramparts above, and they climb the stairs without a word between them. The view from the ramparts is endless, and the wind is snapping at their jackets, bracing cold against Levi’s thighs. 

“Fucking hell, Erwin” he growls, low in his throat because Erwin’s always seemed so _untouchable_ , and here he is now missing an arm. 

“I know” It’s the first time, Levi thinks, his commanding officer has admitted to being wrong “I know”. 

Levi shakes his head, tongue heavy in his mouth “You…”

“We didn’t get close to the wall” Erwin tells him “But we did find an underground system of natural caves” he doesn’t turn to Levi, directly avoids looking him in the eye “I want you and your squad to venture down there, see how far it goes, and discover if we can use for safe passage to Wall Maria”. 

His brow furrows, he reels in an attempt to understand this new plan “This feels… risky”

Erwin turns a sideways glance to him, and Levi shifts under his gaze “It is” he pulls an arm across his chest, and Levi can’t help but flinch at the missing arm “The top brass will not be happy, furious, I think, when they discover my impromptu expedition as well as the orders I’m giving you now” Erwin breathes in, long and deep, and the exhale is loud to Levi, impossibly so. “I doubt it will help that I’ve lost an arm as well”.

Levi’s throat constricts traitorously, and he doesn’t manage much beyond a chocking noise “Sir” and Erwin chuckles with a wry grin. 

“I know, I know, it was very foolish… I’ll approach your squad for a briefing soon – I suggest you get some rest”

Levi nods, salutes, and descends the stairs once more, staggering when he runs into Yeager, who looks shocked at his appearance, jade eyes sparkling. 

“Good evening, Lieutenant” Yeager says softly “I heard about what happened to the Commander and uh… I’m sorry”

He’s not sure if it’s because Yeager has run into him, or for what happened to Erwin, but Levi is sure he doesn’t want to look into it.

“It’s fine” he replies, his voice much softer than he expects it to be “I wasn’t watching where I was going” and that should have been the end of it, but in an act of insubordination, Yeager’s hand snags his jacket’s sleeve, tugs softly to regain his attention, and it puts him off balance for maybe a second.

“Sir, about Levi Squad… I” Yeager’s gaze betrays him, it’s swathed in guilt, and Levi glares, hard, and Yeager swallows thickly; jade eyes dulled by the weight of something that Levi doesn’t want to uncover. The boy seems to choke on his words, and it’s the opening Levi needs to pull away his wrist from that warm grip and turn away, boots clicking finitely against the stone. 

~~

He takes his squad out to the forest again the next morning, and is satisfied when each targeted tree has an effective chunk torn from it, keeps the recruits out and tests their endurance. As the sun reaches its peak, he calls his squad back to a particularly large tree, and waits for them to perch on its branches. 

“Combat simulation” he folds his hands behind his back “Is difficult to achieve without actual Titans; however, there are certain exercises I can give you to improve your combat sense”

He leads his squad to a large expanse of land, interrupted by the odd tree, and directs his blade to them “Every tree down there is a Titan” he directs the blade in a large arc, marking an invisible barrier “Your goal is to subjugate them: work together, do not touch the ground: do that, and you die”

“Yes, Lieutenant!” they salute in tandem, and Levi is impressed that they have adapted to his command in so little time. 

They dash towards the trees as one unit, and split off as their anchors find the trunks of the thick, tall trees. Ackerman finishes off three ‘Titans’ in mere minutes, Braun and Hoover, however, are not far behind. Levi takes care to watch Arlert, who has been steadily improving, as he subjugates his first target successfully, smiles secretly to himself as Yeager and the blonde high-five one another in passing.

Ymir is the first to touch the ground, and his voice carries out across the plain “You’re dead, Ymir – move out!”

The exercise continues until the sun begins to dip low in the sky, and Levi brings his squad in, watching them remove their gear and clean it to the standard he has developed for them. 

“If you were out on the field, and left one Titan alive, would you deem that acceptable?” his squad had chorused a “No, sir!” after their first training session together, and from then, they’d not complained. 

Once done, they file away, and Arlert lingers, still geared up as he approaches Levi with a strict salute “Sir! I would like to request something of you, if it’s not too much trouble!”

Levi tilts his head, raises a brow in confusion “What might that be, Arlert?”

“It has come to my attention, Sir, that I… I am not as efficient with ODM gear as I would like to be and… Well, I was wondering, Sir, if you’d spare an hour to coach me?” Arlert’s salute doesn’t waver, but his voice does, and Levi meets his gaze evenly. 

“Certainly Arlert, we’ll move out and do so now, before dinner” he turns and moves out to return to the forest where he so often trains alone, and Arlert trots after him briskly, stuck to his right arm like glue. 

“Thank you, Sir” the blonde’s voice is soft as they ascend into the trees, and Levi directs the boy to anchor into two close trees, testing the boy’s balance. He does the same, and they hang an arm’s length apart. 

“Act as if you were attacking me, but do not unhook from those trees” his own hands rest loosely one the handles of his blades, and Arlert obeys, raises his blades above his head and pulls in his legs to they are bent at the knee. 

Levi takes the blonde’s elbow before the boy overbalances, and adjusts Arlert’s grip on his blades, angles them, nods “Very good, relax” as the blonde does so, Levi anchors into a branch, perches atop it and taps the surface with the toe of his boot “I want you to cut the branch of this tree: take as much of a run-up as you need”

Arlert moves maybe three metres back, turns mid-air, and Levi feels the gear anchor into the branch through his feet, feels the vibration of the branch as the blonde saws through it cleanly without a beat of hesitation. They continue this way for most of the hour – Levi picks a branch and Arlert attacks it.

“Much better than when you first started” he praises, and from where he is perched, he sees Armin grin “Your problem is in strength, not dexterity” he moves to the forest floor, waits for the boy to meet him there and as Arlert lands he strikes with both blades. 

Arlert blocks with a squeak of surprise, stumbling in his attempt to combat Levi’s strength as he leans on the blades that support his own “You need to break through skin, muscle, and bone” With the practised ease of an acrobat, he pushes off of the ground with his feet, pushes his arms up so that they are the only thing that keep him vertical; feels Arlert’s grip shaking, and counts the seconds it takes for that grip to drop, sending the two of them tumbling to the ground, their blades clattering to the forest floor. 

Levi rolls to recover, approaches the blonde, and hoists him up “Work on your strength, build it up, and I guarantee you’ll have no problem subjugating any Titan”

He does not follow Arlert out of the forest, but stays, double checks his gear, and gets himself into the air. It’s a chance to free his mind from anything but the zip, slide, strike of training, anything that isn’t arching through the air and twisting himself into impossible feats of speed and acrobatics. Driving himself to greater, more impressive, movements that make him the man to be feared, that identify him as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. 

It had taken him years to perfect his attacks: after that Titan had almost eaten him, Levi had done nothing but practise, practise, practise until subjugation was second nature, until his attacks were like nothing the military had seen. 

He’d been a natural at what they’d taught him, but it had taken sheer determination, the will to never die in vain, to never have to rely on others. For him to learn and master ODM, make it his, bring forth skill that would have gone untapped otherwise. 

He hears it as he cuts into a thick tree and darts away, over the zipping of his gear there is another rhythm of graceful murder in the distance. He approaches, and is surprised to find that it is Yeager, batting away at trees with a brutal determination Levi hasn’t seen in many young soldiers. 

He does not come any closer, but watches, unable to gaze at the boy without judgement, and what he sees is extensive room for improvement. But this is Yeager, and the boy always cuts at things with sheer force and determination, no matter the situation.

Levi’s eyes wander of their own accord, and his gaze lingers on hips and shoulders, pauses for the longest time at the brunette’s profile, and their eyes meet. The beautiful jade is still as intoxicating as it has been before, and he frowns at the doubt mixed with shame he reads in them. 

That look… it annoys him. 

He anchors to the tree Yeager is standing on, stands before him and so that he looks as though he has a purpose, he adjusts the boy’s grip on his blades, spreads the brunette’s legs with his foot, and steps away. Despite their height difference, somehow he towers over Yeager, and the brunette is blushing, the pink tinge to his cheeks doing funny things to Levi’s heart. 

“Stop looking at me like that” he wonders if it sounds petulant accompanied with the scowl “My squad knew what they were doing” Yeager’s face pinches, the guilt is written across the brunette’s face, showing as easily as the blush does.

“It’s not-”

“No” he adjusts Yeager’s grip on his sword again – it keeps slipping from the boy’s grip, which is lax, and it’s infuriating – his hand tightens around the brunette’s own “No more of this guilt, Yeager: shit happens, move on”

The boy looks about to argue, about to protest, and Levi looks down to their joint hands, clasped around the hilt of Yeager’s sword. His own cheeks warm traitorously, and he refuses to look up again until the heat dies down. “Please drop it, Yeager”

Such a stark difference – dark against light, callouses against smooth skin – it taunts him for a brief moment: Yeager is a child just like the rest of them, even if he can turn into a 15-metre-tall monster. 

“But, Lieutenant-”

“No” his voice is grating; his grip tightens around the brunette’s hand reflexively “Enough… I would not apologise if a decision I make kills you, I would not dwell on it for weeks, and I would not let it affect my abilities” Levi releases Yeager’s hand when the boy sucks in a sharp breath, takes a stuttering step backwards. 

“Sir” Levi turns away from the whisper, refusing to look at the boy any longer, and gasps softly when Yeager’s hand takes his and yanks him back around. 

The force is enough to bring them chest to chest, and his heart makes a painful lurching motion within his chest, breath quickens slightly. Almost immediately, he pulls away, too close to Yeager, and ducks his head. “Stop” he sighs, licks his lips, and then without any hesitation, zips away.


	4. Chapter Three

“You will take your manoeuvre gear with you – these are specifically designed not to malfunction after exposure to water, mud, or any other elements you may find in these caves. You will have eight to ten days to discover the lengths that these caves go to, and return with a detailed report. If you should find yourself within ten metres of Wall Maria, send up a yellow flare, any further away demands a red flare, and if, by some miracle, you find yourselves within the walls, I expect you to fire a green flare”

Levi is leaning on a wall at the back of the room, cloak draped artlessly around him, as Erwin speaks, detailing roles and expectations with a determination that is both motivating and worrying. What is good, however, is that this expedition is relatively short, given most can last months; what is bad, is that Erwin’s plan has risks, and his faith is on Levi to react to said risks properly. 

It’s Erwin’s faith that scares him, makes him shrink into himself as he leans against cold stone, causes him to hesitate as his squad moves out of the room ahead of him. 

“Be sure to head North through the cave systems” Erwin’s expression is unreadable as he approaches Levi, who refuses to flinch beneath it “Once you get out of that cave system, the calls are yours to make”

Levi swallows thickly “Yes, sir… I’m confident we’ll be fine” he almost flinches because it’s a filthy lie, but Erwin does not call him on it, and he’s allowed to salute and leave without further conversation. 

Each member of his squad has a pack – strapped tightly and filled with a tent, spare blades, kindling for a fire, a small lantern, flares (Levi personally has canisters of black smoke, in the event that they run into the Colossal or Armoured Titan), and two reinforced spare gas canisters locked to the sides. On their person they each have a compass, flint, steel and a hunting knife. 

They salute him, and Levi stands before them, exuding false confidence and ignoring the way Yeager looks to him, as though he is torturing the brunette. 

“I won’t repeat the Commander’s words; but I have my own for you” he shifts in place, regards each member of his squad, larger than most and skilled in different areas “This mission is imperative to furthering the Scout’s progress in sealing Wall Maria, I expect the best from you all, no exceptions” he turns to a Scout and they tell him the gates are opened and they are ready to escort them to the cave system “Let’s give them hell”

~~

The caves are within a forest, barely a days’ ride out of their supply base, and the moonlight does little to help them find it, in fact they almost ride right by it. He and his squad dismount, hand off their horses to the squad that had escorted them here. Levi pets his horse, Blue, gently, scratches beneath the stallion’s chin and hides a smile when his horse butts at his chest, whickering softly. 

Levi hesitates at the mouth of the cave, the forest around them is silent but for the rush of hooves and the chirps and croaks of the nightlife. He knows there is no way but forward, but his feet wish to anchor themselves here, and it takes a great amount of mental coaching to step into the cave and descend into its depths, the light from the moon disappearing so quickly it’s a shock.

“Halt” he calls, when the shuffle of feet near him, and reaches out a hand to find a wall, presses against it to use it as a guide, and takes out his compass.  
Ackerman lights a lantern, and Levi nods to her as a form of thanks “Everyone alright?”

Blouse’s eyes are darting about the roof and walls of the cave “As long as it doesn’t get any tighter in here, yes, sir” she smiles softly at Springer when the boy takes her hand and grins “She’s just being dramatic sir, we’re fine”

Levi nods “At any rate – we should stick close to one another, leave no more than an arm’s distance between you and the person in front or behind you – I doubt it gets much wider than this, and I’d wager it will only get darker” he feels a ripple of agreement, and he thinks it’s probably mixed with fear.

He looks to Ackerman, sets a hand on her arm “Put that out for now, I’d rather we not waste it” she nods, and the light fades, enough that his squad’s breathing is loud, focuses on finding his own way forward, flinching in surprise when a warm hand wraps around his wrist, wonders if whoever is doing it has made the others mimic them. The cave wall is damp, slick, and continues to get wetter as he moves forward and the air grows colder, biting through his clothes and chilling him instantly. 

Levi lets loose a hiss of surprise as the floor dips suddenly beneath him, and the slippery surface takes his foot from under him. He throws out the hand gripping the wall, takes the fabric of a shirt into his hand and tugs. Warm hands wrap around his biceps, and pull him towards their owner, and he hits a warm, solid chest. He recognises Yeager by the heat, the sound of the brunette’s own gasp of surprise, Levi stills, lets his pounding heart settle, and doesn’t let his hand wander from where it is pressed firmly to the boy’s chest. 

“Aright, Lieutenant?” Yeager’s hands brush against his arms, and Levi nods, “Yes, I’m fine – there’s a dip in the floor – just surprised, is all” he turns his back to Yeager, takes a strong grip on the boy’s hand and his heart lurches oddly at the feeling of that warm hand in his own. 

He pushes the thought aside, and ventures forth, carefully, timidly until his foot touches a muddy floor, and his steps are accompanied by a soft sloshing sound: shin-deep water submerges the floor, and Levi thanks the leather boots that protect his clothes from soaking. 

“The slope is gradual, and you’ll hit mud and water in one step forward” he says to his squad, who slowly follow him down. He gets an arm under Ackerman before she loses her footing and falls into the water, and offers Kirstein his arm on the taller boy’s descent, but aside from this there are no incidents into the water. He hears a feminine hiss, and then Ymir’s voice cursing at the water beneath them “I’m gonna be honest with ya, sir, I’m not the strongest swimmer”

Levi wants to reply that his swimming usually involves maddened flailing, but instead heads to the front of the group again, takes Yeager’s hand to guide the brunette so he may guide others in turn “Then let’s hope it gets no deeper”

For maybe three meters, the ground is flat, and then it slopes, and the water rises to Levi’s thighs, cold enough to elicit a gasp from him, and the cool air does little to help. “Fucking hell this is cold” Braun voices his thoughts quite succinctly, and Levi chuckles. 

“Bear left” his hand is numb from the continuous press to the cave wall, and it takes some effort to create a spark with his flint and steel, enough to read the compass. 

“Shit, fucking…” his head slams hard against the roof of the cave maybe five meters later, sparks flying forth into his vision, and he presses the hand entwined with Yeager’s to his head “Watch your heads – the roof is below 5 feet in height – fuck”

He stays back, guides each member of his squad’s heads down past the dip of the roof, Blouse is last, and she fights him enough for him to stop pushing. Her breathing is sharp and pointed, her grip on his hand, which he had offered her to guide her further through the cave, is tight. 

“No” her hand tightens, and it hurts “No, no, I can’t” Levi releases the wall, and her hand, and places his on her shoulders.

“Yes you can, Blouse” he squeezes her shoulders “You can, I’ll be right here, nothing will happen once you get down there”

“It’s just, that’s such a small space, and the water…” Blouse is shaking, and Levi takes her hand again. 

“Won’t hurt you – first person to drown is likely to be me, given my height” he grins, though she can’t see it, but she chuckles weakly, and he leads her down into chest deep water, joins her hand to Kirstein’s and pats her shoulder “See? Well done” he moves back to the front of the group, is practically swimming around at this point, and continues to move forward. 

His jaw is in excruciating pain: his teeth are chattering so much, and not even the steady warmth of Yeager’s hand is helping. He reaches out blindly, and when his hand meets a wall before them, when he tracks that wall to still be the roof, submerged in water, he stops. 

Releasing Yeager’s hand, he dives after sucking in a breath and feels for the bottom of the cave, shocked when he can’t find it before needing to resurface, gasps as he clears the water, thankful for Yeager’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Is it a dead end, Lieutenant?” the brunette’s voice is soft, silk to his ears, and Levi shakes his head to free it of water. 

“No” he runs his hands through his hair, finds his feet “It goes on – I’m not sure if there’s a point where the roof rises again” he glances back to the direction forward “I’m going to dive back under, find where the roof rises: I’ll be back”

He releases Yeager, but the boy grips his arm “What if you drown?” Levi can feel those eyes on his even in the pitch black, and he brushes a thumb across the back of the brunette’s hand.

“That’s not how I die” he pushes off again, breathes in deep, and dives, following the plateau of the cave roof. His legs feel heavy in the cold water, his movements sluggish. His lungs start to burn, and it seems this is how he dies until the roof rises, disappears as it curves and becomes a wall. He breaks the surface of the water sputtering and coughing, ODM gear heavy and extra weight on his tired legs as he treads water. 

He searches the cavern, finds a point where there is dry land, and then braves the darkened depths of the water again to lead the other’s through. He bursts forth from the water, grips the first body he comes into contact with, sputtering out a cough as Arlert squeals in surprise. 

“Shark!” Springer’s voice pierces the air, and Levi hears the sound of contact, a hand likely hitting the back of someone’s head. 

“You idiot” Kirstein seems to be the only one expecting Levi’s return “We’re in a cave: there are no sharks” 

“There’s a water filled cavern down there” he pats the blonde’s shoulder apologetically, “It levels out to dry land, making a good place to camp for a while”

“Y-Yes, Lieutenant” Arlert attempts to regain his composure with a shaky voice, breathing regulating after a long, tense, moment.

Ten trips back and forth later, and he has managed to get his squad past their first hurdle, surfacing with Ymir’s arm wrapped in a death grip around his waist as Kirstein’s attempts to light a small fire succeed. 

The air here is freezing, and his squad is shivering. “Strip” his own cloak falls to the floor, followed quickly by his jacket, cravat, shirt and boots “You’ll never warm up in wet clothes”

His squad follows his lead, and they all huddle around the flames, dressed in nothing but the white pants of their uniforms, miserable and cold. 

Springer laughs softly as he rubs his hands together “This still isn’t worse than being yelled at by Keith” and Levi’s squad chuckles collectively, Levi himself can’t hide a smirk. 

They are so fresh and green compared to him: practically scar free and still softened from lives within the safety of the walls. He is jaded, scarred and rough, both from his childhood and life within the Survey Corps. Unbidden, his hand flits to the crescent shaped scar on his body, that trails from his shoulder down past his hip: the Titan that had almost killed him had fit three quarters of his body into its mouth, so while the pain was always in his left side, the scar itself dominated the right half of his body, until it curved in at his hip and shoulder. 

“You know Keith, don’t you, sir?” Kirstein’s voice brings Levi back to the conversation, and he nods. 

“He was once the Commander of the Scout Regiment, before he retired and Erwin took over” he takes a small stick into his hands, twirls it around so his fingers have something to do “A good man – harsh when he needs to be, thinks like Erwin does – he and our Commander were close”

“You seem to know a lot more about Commander Erwin than most, sir” Ackerman’s gaze does not betray her intent, and Levi watches her carefully, snaps the stick in half and throws both pieces into the fire. 

“Only what I’ve read, or heard… he doesn’t tell me as much as people insist” he’s careful with his answer, unsure what information would betray Erwin’s confidence, and what would give Levi away. 

“Some say the two of you are dating” Ymir seems emboldened by her comrades asking questions he wouldn’t allow in public, and Levi raises a brow at her, then chuckles. 

“We did, not for long, however… felt like I was there for nothing but sex…” he watches the group, firmly “It wasn’t like that, of course, Erwin just happens to deal with problems differently to me, kept his personal and professional life separate” he chuckles “I didn’t like that, so I left him”

His squad is silent for a long moment, and Levi tries not to shift beneath their gaze. 

“Was it hard?” Hoover’s gaze is void of an ulterior motive “And do you ever have trouble talking to him now?”

Levi nods “It hurt, breaking it off, I won’t lie… but no, I have no problems with treating the Commander professionally” there wasn’t much of a shift between their relationship “The only thing that changed between us was that we slept in separate beds and didn’t have sex anymore… it wasn’t hard to readjust”

It occurs to him how young these scouts are; by the way they flinch at his casual mention of sex, the way he reacts calmly towards their questioning, and he wants to smirk, tell a shitty joke about his sexual activities, but decides it inappropriate and it goes unsaid. 

His squad are somewhat emboldened by his talkative nature, it seems, because for once, when Yeager looks at him with a question on his tongue, there is no hesitance “What happened to you there?” a tanned hand sweeps the crescent mark of his scar through the air, and Levi swallows, throat tightening.  
Kirstein is the first to sneer at the brunette “What do you think happened, Eren?” his tone is scalding, and beside the taller boy, Lenz flinches in response.

Yeager scowls, jade eyes flashing with a brief mark of anger, but before he can argue, Levi holds up a calming hand “It’s alright, Kirstein, if I’d not wanted the question asked, I’d have covered it up” he soothes, and he’s told this story only once before, to Hange earlier this week, so it’s still odd to talk about, especially to his new, young, squad. 

“I was snatched from the air by an abnormal on my first day out – it bit down, thankfully it didn’t have a chance to break bones or organs before Erwin saved me – it’s not a big deal” it is, but he’s Lieutenant Levi: Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. 

He is not allowed weakness. 

“Well, shit” Braun breathes out, and it makes a whistling sound “That must have hurt like a bitch”

Levi snorts “And then some” he stands and moves a small distance from the fire “Let’s get some rest” it’s more order than suggestion, and the others move to follow. 

His own eyes don’t fall closed until he hears his squad’s breathing even out, and their little fire dies out. 

He doesn’t sleep well, but he never does. 

~~

“Sir” he turns his head to the soft call, it comes from Arlert, who hovers above him “It’s been six hours” and it’s enough to convince Levi to stand and dress, the air cold and sharp, but his clothes are dry, and it’s a nice relief. 

“I took the liberty of scouting the cavern, sir” Arlert continues “There’s a wall to the north, but it opens up to another cave system once the wall runs out”

“You’d suggest we head that way?” he struggles into his boots as Arlert chokes in surprise. 

“I… yes, sir: if the goal is to reach Wall Maria, we need to maintain a southern bearing, and the cave seemed deep enough to warrant an investigation” 

Levi smiles, he can’t help it: Arlert and Erwin are of the same mind, both thinking twelve steps ahead of everyone else “Very well, Arlert, I’ll differ to your judgement”

He thinks he’s surprised the boy, and offers him an encouraging pat on the shoulder as he moves toward the northern wall, plants his foot on a rock that juts out, and scales the sheer surface. He slips once, recovers, and climbs over the lip of the wall. 

The air is drier here, though it looks like the cave systems are going to be just as dark and cold as the first set. His squad follows him up, and he offers a hand to Arlert as he struggles to clear the edge. 

They venture forth once more, and only perhaps a meter later, the floor drops from under him, and he slips into waist deep water. He shouts in surprise, and frustration “Fucking hell” he hisses “What out for the drop – I’ll wait here and help you all down”

Once his squad is safely in the water, he wades back to the front, shivering once again from the cold, which is somehow a worse experience this time than the first. The walls begin the thin out as they go, and eventually they are sidestepping, struggling to check that they are headed in the right direction. The water level doesn’t rise, or fall, for hours, and he can feel his steps becoming sluggish, his legs tiring. 

By the silence of his squad, he’s sure their situation is the same. Above him, he hears a loud thud, and pauses, hand against the wall “Stop” the wall trembles against his hand and Levi frowns “Move, but slowly” he doesn’t like the strength of the tremor beneath his hand, scowls when a trickle of mud shakes free of the roof in time with the tremor. 

Titans are walking above them: the roof must have thinned out without his knowledge. Yeager’s hand grips his wrist a little tighter, and Levi turns back, peers into the pitch black and listens to the slosh of water that indicates his squad’s movement. The air is about to snap; the hand he presses against the wall is stinging from how hard it’s pressed to the dull rock. 

Light starts to trickle through the roof, and his eyes take a long time to adjust, he stumbles over a rock, points it out, and continues on. When he hears a rumbling noise, feels a hot puff of air hit his head from above, he freezes. 

“Stop” another puff of hot air messes up his hair, the smell is that of rotted, dead, flesh, and he knows that there’s a Titan, likely curiously peering at the ground, above them, sniffing them out. 

His wrist is crying out in pain, Yeager is holding it so tightly, and Levi grits his teeth. He feels, rather than sees, the earth above them caving in beneath pressure, and knows that the Titan has found them. The grating sound of giant fingers through dirt is all he needs to pull Yeager, and the others along, sloshing loudly through the water as the grating gets urgent. 

But the water is making them slow, and the roof behind them caves in with a shattering sound, accompanied with splashes of large chunks of earth hitting the water. Above them, Levi hears eager footsteps, and almost immediately after a heel comes crashing through the cave network in front of them. 

“Move right!” he darts over the giant foot, slips into the darker, cooler cave, slides down the incline and doesn’t stop, drags Yeager through the chest deep water, and runs back for the rest. 

The roof before him collapses, and Kirstein snatches him back from it, preventing the stones and earth from crushing him into a bloody pulp. The collapse has sealed them in, and the pounding of Titan feet is muted, faint against the deeper earth. 

They breathe a collective sigh of relief, and he offers his squad a shaky smile. It fades quickly, his head whips back around to the collapsed caves when he hears the sound of screaming, of pleading, for help. 

Sasha. 

He pushes away from Kirstein, back to the rubble, and paws away at it because he can hear her calling for him. His fingers sting, hand sparks in pain when he cuts it on a slippery, sharp, stone. His blood stains the stone as the screams fade upward, become ear-piercing, deafening even with the rocks to dilute them, until they stop with a horrific, crunching sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, fun fact, went through 7 edits, within which different scout members died. I had a hard time deciding who to kill, and to be honest it was with tears and reluctance that I chose Sasha.
> 
> Personally, I am an Eruri shipper, but the person I was writing this for is a huge fan of Ereri. Understandably, I had to give my favourite ship some love, and so that's where the idea of Levi and Erwin came from within this story.


	5. Chapter Four

Silence. Dead, shocked silence fills the cavern, and Levi presses a hand to the rubble wall in front of him, balling into a tight fist. 

“Fuck” he utters, vehement with its delivery, and then once more, so it matters “Fuck!”.

Not only are they unable to turn back, should they find themselves stuck they have no escape. But he’s lost a member of his squad, and they’ve still got days of trekking underground in pitch black, hoping they’re headed in the right way, to go.

“Shit” Kirstein whispers, and Levi thinks that sums up their situation quite nicely. 

Lenz’s eyes are wet with tears, and she’s hiding her face in Ymir’s chest, who holds her tightly, silent and impassive. Levi offers her a hand on her shoulder and doesn’t apologise, moves to the front of his squad and away from the wall of rubble, Springer is glaring at the wall as though he wants to tear it down, and Levi physically turns the boy around. “Leave it” he tells the boy, and he pauses to make sure no one else is going to attempt to reopen the cave in. 

The fist that cracks into his jaw sends sparks through his vision, and Levi stumbles, feels arms catch him so he doesn’t fall into the water. Springer looks a mixture of shocked and angry, and Levi rights himself, thanks Ackerman with a pat to her shoulder. 

He approaches Springer, looming despite that fact that he is not much taller than the boy. He does not lash out, and he glances Ymir’s way when she lights a lantern, turns his gaze back to Springer “You need to do that again, or can we move on?” his jaw hurts, only a pinch compared to some of the punches, kicks, and elbows he’s received throughout his life, and Springer shakes his head, fists unclenching, eyes still promising something close to murder. 

Levi understands: was once like this himself, wanted the world dead for what it had done to him, for the people it had taken from him. 

He remembers once, asking Kenny Ackerman why all the good people die, and the bad remain, and the older man had put it rather blandly:

“If you were to take flowers out of a garden, boy, which ones would you pick?”

“The most beautiful ones”

And like that, the anger had faded, dulled out to cynicism a teenager, and then a young adult, shouldn’t have had. The anger was shoved deep, _deep_ beneath the surface, where tiny scratches couldn’t get to it, so that people had to slice through bones and sinew to touch his heart rather than cut open his sleeve. 

Levi moves to the front of the group, shakes the memories away, and moves on. 

~~

It takes a whole 24 hours for the water to recede to their ankles, and for them, it has to do. They lean against the cave walls, keep a lantern burning low, and sleep standing up: Levi is reminded all too readily of the many times Yeager has referred to humanity as cattle, and it sets him on edge. 

Lenz approaches him, leans beside him against the wall, and Levi raises a brow in her direction “Something to say, Lenz?” he folds his arms, draws up a leg to press his foot against the cave wall. 

She gives him a strange look “Can’t you call us by our first name?” and it makes Levi frown, because no, he can’t, because that would be a sign that he was growing attached, and he couldn’t do that again. Lenz doesn’t mind, though, in fact, she simple continues on, as though Levi had smiled, and said ‘Certainly’. 

“I feel terrible about Sasha” her eyes turn downward, examine the water that laps at their ankles “I… I wish there was something we could have done”

Levi doesn’t respond, or maybe he does, but not in the way Lenz wants because she frowns at him, then turns her gaze away. Levi sighs, closes his eyes to the world for a brief moment “Dust yourself off, Lenz, and move on: it’s pointless to grieve now, when there’s no time”

He believes it, does so with all of his heart, because it’s something he’d learnt too early in life, through the loss of his mother, friends, and squads: grieving wastes time, takes away the chance to get up and react. 

Levi pushes off of the wall, feels the weary sigh of his bones as he does so, left thigh throbbing dully alongside his heartbeat, which is steady despite the cold. He dowses the lantern, and can almost reach out and touch his squad’s sombre mood, it is so heavy, so like a blanket. 

“Move out” he continues forward, silent and determined to make it out of the dark, to feel the sun on his back. He’s so fucking tired: he barely slept for the hours they had stood against the cave walls, doubts the others succeeded to either. 

Levi feels the water recede further, the land beneath his feet slope upward, and hits his head on the roof, “Motherfucker” he refrains from hitting the roof with his fist, and ducks beneath the lower part of the wall, squints in response to light hitting his eyes. 

Light. 

They’ve reached the end. 

Around him is green forest, beautiful and vibrant in comparison to the dank, dark surroundings of the cave, and he is forced to throw an arm across his brow to shade his eyes. He ducks back into the cave system to find his squad hesitating at the dip in the roof. 

It’s good timing, a foot almost crushes him, shutting out the natural light as it covers the cave’s mouth, and he rolls, gets to his feet as the foot lifts away to carry its owner forward. 

Cautiously, like baby wolves leaving the safety of home for the first time, they edge out of the cage, instantly take to the trees and climb higher than 20 metres, stand among the branches there and breath in fresh air, take in the sun and their new surroundings. 

Wall Maria towers before them, and his compass tells him they are at the southernmost point. Levi breathes out a sigh of relief “We’re going to scale the wall come the evening: for now, we’ll wait at the edge of the forest” 

They dart through the trees, nimbly avoiding the Titans they come across, and as Levi lands on the branch of one tree, turns back to watch his squad’s progress, Kirstein tackles Yeager mid-air, throws them both out of the way of a Titan, sends them tumbling to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

“Eren, you idiot! Learn to watch where you’re-” Yeager flinches in surprise when a hand, roughly twice the size of Kirstein, shatters through the underbrush, pinning the boy, flattening him to the forest floor. It curls around Kirstein as Levi hooks into the nape of its neck, lifts the boy to dangle above it’s open mouth and Levi’s blades pierce muscle and bone, hooks into its hand and snatches Kirstein from the air, tumbling to the ground, avoiding the eight metre Titan’s body.

Levi gets to his knees, and examines Kirstein where the boy lies beside him, and it doesn’t look good: he’s bleeding from the mouth and his body looks mangled, twisted horrifically out of shape. 

“Jean!” His squad almost call it unison, and Levi stands, looks to them before they can leave the safety of the trees “Stay put!” before he kneels back down, searches for a pulse, flinches when Kirstein coughs, whimpers in pain. 

“Kirstein?” he rubs at the boy’s temple when his eyes flutter, frowning at the grating cough that exits Kirstein’s mouth “Fuck” he grips the boy’s hand “Squeeze” Levi gets the weakest twitch of fingers in reply “Fucking _squeeze_ Kirstein!”

“Trying” the distress is clear in Kirstein’s gaze, his voice sounds like he’s been gargling shards of glass “Fuck… it hurts”

Levi glances around, all too aware of the fact that they are on the ground, _vulnerable_ , and he methodically prods at the boy, tests for feeling, tries to elicit a response. Kirstein choughs roughly all the while. Levi’s not a doctor, but the boy’s spine is fucked – all out of place and weak to his gentle touch – he won’t stand, can’t feel anything, and it is with deliberate slowness that he draws one of his blades, presses it to the fleshy hollow beneath Kirstein’s chin, precise, careful. 

“That bad?” Kirstein’s gaze flashes with fear, disappointment “S’alright, Lieutenant… I’ll see Sasha again… and Marco”

Levi closes his eyes “Yes, I know… You did… brilliantly, Jean; you made necessary decisions, quick, practical ones, made sacrifices that…” he looks away, then back, swallows down the mortifying tremor in his voice “Your strength is mine, Jean, and I thank you for it”

Kirstein smiles, clasps a hand around Levi’s with a weak, clumsy squeeze, and his strength is what drives that sword through the thin skin at the juncture between neck and jaw, coughs, sputters. Levi pushes, hard, clinical, and breaks the cord of nerves that the boy is not strong enough to: ends his life, watches it fade from his eyes. 

It's after he sheathes his weapon, wipes away the blood that has spattered onto his face, collects Yeager and returns to the trees that his squad reacts. 

“Why did you kill him?!” Springer’s voice cracks midway, and Levi frowns in response, hardens his gaze because this is how things are. 

“He would not have made it” his eyes are hard, hands firmly at his sides “He would have died either way: I ended his suffering” Springer opens his mouth, but Levi charges forward “I am your superior, if I deemed Kirstein’s death as worthy of carrying out myself, then you will accept that as sound judgement” the shorter male scowls, the look could kill blades of grass with its heat, and Levi turns away, towards Wall Maria “Forward, now, to the edge of the forest”

His squad does as they’re told; though Springer hesitates for a heartbeat, and they reach the end of the forest by the afternoon, the sun weaker in heat, but bright as ever, lights up the wall so that it glows an orange colour. 

Levi has ordered them to rest in the trees, had been watching them sleep, unable to himself, until he stalks away, stands at the edge of the branch he’s on, and breathes out, heavy and hard, pointedly refusing to look back, eyes on Wall Maria and nothing else. He doesn’t flinch, but is surprised, when a warm hand curls around his wrist and he can feel someone standing directly behind him. 

“Yeager” the sun is out, but the forest seems too quiet, fragile, breaking under the whisper of the brunette’s name. “’M sorry” Yeager’s voice is soft, almost as quiet as his own “This is my fault”

“No” Levi sighs, brings up a hand to scrub at his face “I made the call, and you can’t tell me you can predict Titan movements”

Yeager has the decency to chuckle at his poor attempt at joking “I just…”

“Yes, I know” it has a slight waver to it, which betrays the fact that he is not alright, that the mercy killing has truly hurt him, more so than the first death of the expedition.

A thumb brushes against his pulse point, and Levi doesn’t tug away yet, furrows his brow when Yeager knits their hands together carefully.

“It should have been me” Yeager says, after a long moment of odd silence “Not Jean”

Levi clears his throat and turns to face the boy, eyeing him with a stern gaze “Should or shouldn’t: it doesn’t matter, Jean’s dead”

Yeager gasps softly, jade eyes wide with shock, and Levi thinks it’s a good chance to escape, but he is halted by a firm tug to their joined hands, and some bravery from the boy next to him. 

“Lieutenant, please” Yeager’s voice is barely above a whisper. 

Like the ‘sorry’ in the corridor, Levi has no idea what ‘please’ means, but he doesn’t want to look into it “Whatever it is, Yeager, drop it: get some rest”

Yeager’s grip doesn’t waver, pulls Levi a little closer and uses his free hand to brush hair away from his face. Levi lets loose a light puff of breath, and his heart does another strange leap when he meets the brunette’s eyes, rests a hand on the boy’s chest to push away, but is struck by the way Yeager gasps. They are close enough that heat can’t seem to escape the space between them, and there’s a clear blush on Yeager’s cheeks. 

Levi is surprised to find that this close, holding Yeager’s hand, feeling a steady heartbeat beneath his hand, he wants to kiss Eren. 

It startles him, makes him pull back, scowl, and clench his jaw, makes him turn back to watching the wall. “Get some rest, Yeager” he enforces, thinks the brunette lingers for a little while longer, and releases a heavy sigh once the presence of the boy is gone. 

“Fuck” he whispers, aware of exactly what he’d been feeling, aware of the way he feels high strung and oddly needy. It’s lust, and fuck if it isn’t crippling, enough that its briefly terrifying. “Get it together, Lieutenant” he shifts his stance, swallows, and spends the rest of the afternoon lecturing himself, imagines what Erwin would say. 

It helps.


	6. Chapter Five

Night falls, and the moon rises wanly, greets his tired eyes with its soft light before he turns away and wakes his squad, who blink blearily and then remember where they are, why their backs hurt so much. They make their way through the trees in silence, and when they reach the wall, Ackerman, Arlert, and Yeager are the first to start climbing.

Levi stays at the rear, places a careful hand on Hoover’s back “Plant your feet” he puts pressure on the boy’s back, propels him forward “Let the gear do the supporting, focus on keeping your feet firmly on the wall”

Hoover nods, smiles “Thanks” and Levi nods, glaring at the horizon when the sun peaks over it, just as they are reaching the top of Wall Maria. Ackerman reaches the top, plants her feet firmly on the wall and hoists Arlert and Yeager up after her, offering them both a rare, soft, smile. 

Braun slips, falters, and falls; the gear will catch him, but Levi does it before that, plants his feet and catches the boy’s forearm, grunts in pain when his shoulder strains, that old scar stings, bones ache. But he is Humanity’s Strongest, and he takes Braun’s weight, strains until the boy finds his feet, unhooks, then anchors back into the wall to right himself. 

“Thank you, Lieutenant” Braun plants his feet and moves forward after Levi nods, catches his breath, and is glad he does. 

Lenz is about to get over the lip of the wall, and Ackerman offers her a helping hand. The blonde girl smiles, reaches out, and her gear groans, the chunk of wall it holds onto crumbles and sends her falling, arcing because the other hook is still holding on and she screams before she hits the wall. The gear groans warningly, and Levi clenches his jaw, anchors close to the blonde and approaches. 

“Keep moving up!” he commands the others, because they are close, and he’s not back tracking now “Lenz, you alright?”

There are silent tears in her eyes, and her left jaw will bruise, temple and hair is soaked in blood “Come on now, Lenz, you’ll be alright” he says, takes her hand and draws her to him, unhooks her gear from the wall, lets her hug him tightly. 

“That really hurt, sir” she whispers, and he nods, squeezes back with one arm as he makes his way up to the lip of the wall, clears his throat “You’re alright, now, up you go” he soothes, handing her up, watches as Ymir pulls her in tight, murmurs a soft “Scared the shit outta me” and Lenz laughs weakly, hugs back just as tightly. 

Ackerman offers him her hand, hoists Levi up when he takes it, his gear zipping loudly as he retracts it, boots clicking on the stone as he approaches Lenz, and examines her gear. 

Ymir tends to her injuries, and Levi frowns at the bend in the hooks of the right side: judging from the wear of the metal, the bend was older than what had happened at the wall, and they never gave out faulty gear. 

It's odd: Odd is annoying. The right hook is no longer functional, and he tells Lenz this, who nods weakly in reply. 

“Then… what do I do, sir?” she asks, meeting his gaze. 

He’s floored at her determination for a brief moment, and wonders if these kids are a special breed, to have so much tenacity. 

“We can reinforce the hook, but there’s every likelihood that it will break again” he says, glancing out into the broken village of Shiganshina and frowning.   
Titans roam the place, steps leisurely as they coast around the destruction, picking up the odd old corpse and swallowing them whole, scavenging and ignorant of their presence. It won’t last. 

“Firstly, let’s get into that watchtower” he nods to the structure, and pulls free his flare gun, fires off green smoke before he enters the watchtower. “We made it, Erwin, now what?” he’s not sure if it’s better to head forward, or back: supposes it’s his choice to make, that Erwin now knows where they are, and what they’re doing. 

Now, red will stand for a retreat. 

Levi decides that there is no turning back, not yet: his and Erwin’s careers lie on a result. Lenz is fine, a minor concussion, and some bruising, but fine all the same. He feels no better, has backed his squad into a corner, with no idea how to return to Wall Rose, how to meet their deadline of four days. The sun burns bright, and he sits by the window, jacket and cloak folded neatly beside him, sleeves rolled up past his elbows as he counts titan after titan, listens to the sound of sleeping behind him. 

It’s midday when Ackerman approaches, kneels down beside him, bereft of her own cloak and jacket. “What are you looking for, sir?” her eyes don’t meet his, stay out on the district. 

“A pattern” he marks down a black line in the column for the midday hour as an eight metre Titan ambles past beneath them: thirty just this hour “We can’t move safely, so we need to move smart”

Ackerman nods, presses her palms to her thighs and leans forward. Levi thinks, for a moment, that they should talk, at length, about their family, that he should reveal the secret he’s been keeping since he’d heard her last name. 

In this light, she reminds him of his mother, with her flawless skin and dark hair; it makes him frown, turn his gaze away: there will be time, when they are not fighting for their lives. Levi purses his lips, keeps his expression neutral and continues to count Titans “We won’t meet the deadline, I think” when he speaks, Ackerman turns to him, and he feels briefly guilty, just like every time their eyes meet.

He clears his throat, and looks away, she frowns and leans forward in attempt to catch his gaze “Is there something wrong, sir?”

Levi hums, neither confirming or denying, marks another Titan down “They’re most active during the day” and he’s thankful Ackerman is not Yeager, or is until she fixes him with a look that is firm, says ‘stop feeding me bullshit’ and he swallows thickly in response to it. 

His squad is still sound asleep, so he supposes this is private enough, and even though he’s rehearsed it a thousand times, he’s not sure what to say. 

“My mother’s name was Kuchel Ackerman” he starts, grimaces “She died when I was very young, and I was taken in by my uncle for some time… anyway, not the point: we’re cousins” Levi wants to kick himself, multiple times, because that had gone terribly. 

Ackerman frowns, purses her lips, tightens her grip on her thighs “I… see” her voice is steady, and Levi thinks it’s a good thing “My parents were murdered when I was nine, you’re… you and Eren, are all I have”

Levi nods “I’m a shitty person, I’m surprised you didn’t just dismiss it” he chuckles, and she shakes her head steadily.

“Family doesn’t do that” her eyes are hard, but her tone is imploring, somewhat kind rather than carefully neutral “I don’t have so many people that I can pick and choose, sir”

“Levi” he corrects “When we’re in private, at least”

“Mikasa” she counters, and they share a soft laugh, more a puff of amused air than a sharp chuckle. 

They fall silent: Levi counts Titans and Mikasa sits quietly beside him, closes her eyes to the world and seems to breathe it in. 

It’s comforting, and the hours pass at a slow, steady rate. 

“Levi” he turns to her, and she is watching him with a guarded expression “Are we going to the basement?”

He nods “We’re going to try” he doesn’t want to lie to her, thinks she’d know the instant he did, but he refuses to give away that he is not sure what their next move should be. 

Mikasa nods, and lays a hand on his forearm “I trust you, sir” and it’s a subtle signal that the others are waking up, and Levi shifts, stands and stretches as his squad gets up, begins strapping their gear to their person without a word. 

As day turns to night, Levi does his best with Lenz’s gear, fixes it as best he can, reinforces it as well as he can, but he hopes they won’t have to use their gear too much. 

Levi stands, and faces his squad, feels small in just his shirt “We are going to make an attempt to enter Yeager’s basement” he feels a collective ripple forge its way through the group, meets Yeager’s eyes and wants to rip him down by the collar and smash their lips together. His hands flex behind his back at the thought. “I don’t want any heroics: we’re facing far too many Titans to fuck up here, this needs to be a quick, quiet advance”

Again, putting their hands up seems a common thing among the 104th “Yes, Ymir?”

“How long will it take?” It’s a viable question, and Levi nods to it “Hopefully, no more than a day, then we can return with some good news”

He steps away, and they return to talking until he’s ready to move out, and it’s as he’s shucking on his jacket that Yeager approaches him.

“Sir” the brunette’s voice is soft it sets him on edge rather than soothes him, and he thinks the boy won’t try anything in such close quarters, comforts himself with the fact that he won’t, either, because that electricity, that heat, is back, and seems to strike with a vengeance. 

“Please don’t die” Yeager says, and Levi halts in donning his cloak, glares up at the boy and tilts his head “What, brat?”

The brunette flinches, it’s oddly helpful to his mood, given he hasn’t called the boy that for a long while “Just be careful, sir, that’s all… I’m sorry for giving a shit”

Levi thinks he’s not meant to hear the last part “Mind your language, Yeager” and the boy whips his head around, the blush clear, so quickly Levi fights to stifle a laugh. “Go, get ready: we’re moving in five minutes”

~~

Their boots touch the ground in soft clicks as the sun peeks over the horizon, and it isn’t long before their footfalls are drowned out by the Titans above. They flit between buildings, keeping a wary eye out for the giant predators as they do. Levi signals that they halt while he gains his bearings, nodding his thanks when Yeager points to the left street. 

Titans populate the wide road, and there isn’t much cover to speak for, so Levi leads them down an alley instead, attempting to find a gap, knowing from keen observation that the titans here are vastly numbered during the middle of the day, and they have maybe three hours before the streets fill with giant feet that are likely to crush them without knowing it. 

It’s not very often that he makes an error in judgement, and when Reiner snatches him off the main road before a foot crushes him, he is shocked. He lets the fact that he almost dies sink in, and waits for the footsteps surrounding them to fade before hooking onto the house beside him, its roof sagging but enough of an advantage to see a 3 metre radius of the city, and climbing up. 

He's careful, in that he peeks over the edge of the roof first, then crawls the last few inches to get to the peak of the roof. Blessedly, there are no Titans, and he glances down at his squad, still safely hidden away in the shadows of the rooftops “It’s clear” he sees the way they slump in relief, and he looks on, finds the crumbling house they are searching for amidst the corpses of other homes. 

He feels a puff of warm air at his back, notes the shadow that looms over him, and leaps out of the way, loses his footing on the roof and crashes down into the alley. His left side lights up with pain, and he hits the ground with his fist, rolls to the right to avoid a giant foot. 

“Move!” he points past his squad, away from him “Scatter! We’ll regroup at the Easternmost watchtower!”

They hesitate for the barest second, all but Mikasa, who nods and bolts off, startling the others into mimicking her actions, scattering into separate streets and alleyways. Levi stands, anchors into the only stable roof of the alley, and then onto the Titan, swings beneath its grip, anchors into the nape of its neck, and with a splash of blood and a gurgling scream it is dead.

The screams call others, and soon what could have been a few minutes turns to an hour of running, ducking, dodging and killing. His feet falter over a tile, and he trips, slips off the roof in a bundle of broken wood and roof tiles, his left side taking the punishment once again. He coughs, “Oh, fuck, shit” and digs himself out, freezes when he feels, then sees, a titan dash past the alley he’s in, and sighs in relief, chuckles softly and pulls himself free. 

“Fuck me” he whispers, stretches his left side and grimaces at the pain that brings. 

He calls out in surprise when a force tackles him, saves him from being snatched into the air by a hand. He hits the ground and refrains from screaming, notes the hand pulls away, and that he knows the Titan is still there, but has not attacked yet. 

It is listening for them. 

Springer untangles himself from Levi, hoists him up carefully and quietly, and they stand frozen on the command of Levi, who watches that shadow over the alley like a wary animal, tightens his grip on his blades, and waits. 

Behind them is a wall, and Levi knows he can hear other Titans to the opposite side of it, likely searching for them: they’re trapped. “Alright” his voice is barely a whisper “We’re going to get in the air, and subju-” he snaps his jaw shut when the Titan kneels down, feels Springer tense beside him as it gets to its hands and knees. 

It sees them, their eyes meet and Levi feels his heart rate climb to an impossible height, into his throat where it stays and constricts him. Springer, however, sets his jaw, and steps forward. Levi snags his arm but the boy shakes it off “You go, Lieutenant” he pushes at Levi’s shoulder when he shakes his head. 

“Go, we won’t get out of this with that thing there and… Listen one of us is dying here and you know it” Springer shakes his head, his eyes dart up behind them when a hand clamps on the roof, and a Titan pulls itself up onto the tiles, making its way into the alley way. 

“Tch” Levi scoffs, draws his swords “We’ll fight out of this, you watch, Springer, they’re no match for us”

“You, maybe, but not me” Connie chuckles, shakes his head “I’m adequate, you said so yourself: they need you”

“This is bullshit, it doesn’t matter” he takes a step backwards as the second Titan gets on hands and knees, meets its eyes “You’re not staying, we’re running”

“You’re running, sir: I’m going to get rid of them” Springer darts forward, subjugates the Titan blocking the alley with slow, deliberate motions and Levi takes the opening, ducks beneath the other Titan’s grip and anchors into a roof, plans on aiding Springer with the living Titan. 

There’s another directly in front of him, and Levi swerves, redirects, lands on a roof, and returns to Springer, who looks at him as though he’s not really seeing him. That’s when an arm knocks him firmly in the chest, and he is propelled backwards, through a building. 

The resounding crack of wood and the clatter of tiles is loud in his ears, and he cries out when a support beam swings down into his right hip. There’s a sharp crunch, and Levi bites his lip, makes it bleed as he tries not to scream. 

“Springer!” He reaches out, grips the edge of the floor and pulls, tries to lever himself out from beneath the beam that has trapped him between it and the wall on his left “You fucker!” he snaps at the beam, pulls harder and something _pops_ , burns and he shouts out in pain.

He has never, never, turned away from a soldier’s death, and as he struggles, he watches a Titan lift Connie into the air, the boy fights, stabs at its hand in vain, before it bites him neatly in half, his lower body finding its way into the creature’s mouth as soon as the top half is swallowed. 

“Fuck!” his throat hurts, and his shout carries out across the space, turns their heads to him and he pushes an open palm against the beam, grits his teeth against the pain of the wood scraping his hip “Fuck”

“Levi!” Mikasa lands beside him, wastes no time in pushing on the beam “I came back to look for you and… and Connie: the others are safely at the watchtower” Levi sighs, closes his eyes and pushes as she does, grunts in pain when the wood lifts away from his hip and it cracks softly. 

He stands without help and it hurts, but he shakes his head when Mikasa offers him her arm “Let’s move, now” and they are gone before the Titans reach them, arriving at the watchtower. 

“Hoover?” Reiner is the one to shake his head, and Levi pats his shoulder gently “I see”

Yeager looks to him, and Levi meets his gaze without hesitance “Connie’s not back yet”

He sighs “I know, I saw him he…” he shakes his head “Distracted the Titans, sacrificed himself.” 

Yeager’s eyes flash, his fists clench “You let him do that?!”

Levi meets him toe for toe when the brunette stalks close to him “Yes, Yeager, I did” he doesn’t say he had no choice, he must appear to be in control, even if he’s slowly starting to lose it to the Titans, and the situation. 

Three, maybe four, dead on his watch: he’s lost a squad’s worth of people and they’ve barely made progress. It sets his jaw, makes his feet plant themselves and prepare to fight, when Yeager growls he lifts his jaw and shifts to the right. 

A spike of white hot pain shoots through his hip and he stumbles, lets Mikasa catch his arm, sit him down and he presses a hand to his hip, stretches out his leg and hisses when Lenz touches the bone. 

“Fucking forgot about that” he shakes his head, looks up to Yeager “Drop it, brat: we’ve bigger things to worry about”

Lightning shatters the silence, strikes through the main streets of Shiganshina and in a flash of hot, blinding light, the Colossal Titan appears. 

Levi stands, the pain forgotten, gapes in surprise as he stares “Fuck”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are longer breaks between chapters than I'd like, considering this thing is finished. Truth being I've found two chapters I despise, and am trying to fix them (it's not working lol). 
> 
> Back before it was revealed to us that Levi and Mikasa were related, I was speculating. For days I drew up family trees, and tried to tie them all together. Needless to say that the discovery that I was right made all that hard work satisfying.


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm officially over stressing out about the chapters, and I'm aiming to post one every two weeks to give time for editing. 
> 
> The long break, I should explain, was in thanks to one chapter in particular, which is going through a rewrite as I continue to post here.

Levi’s first move is to get his squad down into the bones of Shiganshina, to hide within the shade of the rooves and in the safety of alleyways. Above them, the Colossal Titan’s steps rumble, echo through the streets with a deafening noise that moves the earth, shakes free dust and mortar from the houses they hide between. 

“Retreat” this is it for Levi, the final straw, and he moves to lead the group back north, to the relative safety of Wall Rose “Fall back: we’re going home”

“But we’re close” Yeager’s expression is hardened, determined, and it’s a nice change from the open sorrow and rage in those jade eyes “This can’t all be for nothing”

“It can if I say so” Levi counters, stepping close, dominant despite his size “I’m your commanding officer, you obey my orders”

“We’ve come too far” Eren urges “We’ve lost… too much, too many people, to go back empty handed”

Levi raises a brow “Don’t tell me shit I already know Yeager – that’s the reason we’re turning around – there’ll be another chance-”

“A chance to what, kill _more_ soldiers?!” Yeager’s voice is a near yell, and Levi wants nothing more than to punch him, silence him “You’ve wasted their lives for nothing!”

The resounding crack of the boys back hitting the nearest wall is deafening “You shut your fucking mouth: I am your commanding officer” he snarls “We’re turning around, and that’s final, am I clear, Yeager?”

The brunette is determined to remain silent, and Levi shakes him hard “Am. I. Clear?”

“Yes, Lieutenant” Yeager grates out, and Levi releases him, stalking towards an empty area, gasping when arms wrap around him in a tackle and he is slammed to the ground, a projectile trailed by red smoke shooting overhead into the leg of a titan, crippling it momentarily. 

Arlert clambers off him, helps Levi up and he frowns down at Braun, shock – shame, at having set off the flare - and fear clear on his face, and helps the tall blonde up onto his feet. 

“Let’s go” he moves his squad along quickly, almost finds himself crushed once again and they all duck into the next alleyway as one “Shit”. 

The alley doesn’t shelter them for long: it collapses beneath a seven metre Titan’s foot, which knocks down a wall, collapses rooves and sends their squad into a disorganised panic. 

“Lieutenant!” Levi’s head whips around to the call, approaches the rubble and starts to dig through it, moves pieces of rubble to the side. 

“Lenz!” his voice pierces the silence, and he finds himself struggling with a roof’s support beam, pushes his shoulder beneath it and heaves “Lenz are you alright?!”

“I’m fine sir, I’m fine but… Ymir, she’s trapped” Levi grunts with the effort, nods when Mikasa hurries to help him and they heave together. 

“Stop! Stop stop please stop!” Ymir’s voice is pitched, in pain, and after a glance between them, Levi and Mikasa stop trying to move the beam “Goddammit!”

“Ymir” Levi presses a hand to the rubble, “How bad is it?” Mikasa is shifting away smaller debris, in an attempt to get to the two trapped behind it. 

“I… it’s not bad” Ymir’s voice is strained; Levi hears Christa sob softly. 

He growls “Don’t lie” he turns to Mikasa “Get the others out of here, to safety, somewhere they’re not likely to be crushed”

“Reiner’s done that already” she lays a hand on his arm, holds his gaze “I’m here to help you: you’re injured, we both know it”

“Oh god”

Christa’s voice is almost drowned out by a sharp, giant, footstep, and Levi hears Ymir shush her “It’s alright, hey, don’t worry, it’s okay, just go”

“No” Christa’s voice wavers, and he hears her sob “No I’m staying right here: I’ll kill each one until we free you”

There’s a collection of footsteps, it’s hard to tell how many from this side of the rubble, and he and Mikasa work on the rubble, clearing enough that Levi can scramble up it, can see through and catch Christa’s gaze, glance up. 

He swallows “Christa” his voice isn’t his own “Come here, now” he moves to her, glances down at Ymir and freezes. 

She’s impaled: there’s not another way to put it, the beam has sliced cleanly through her side, and Levi’s amazed she’s awake, not screaming in pain. 

“No, sir, no” Christa shakes her head, kneels beside Ymir, who murmurs a soft protest “I can’t” 

Levi turns to the four advancing Titans, and he hears Mikasa gasp above him “Sir” her eyes are on the Titans “Sir we need to get out of here”

Ymir shoves at Christa “Don’t be fucking stupid, Christa, go: you’re fine”

“I won’t” the blonde shakes her head, tears track down her cheeks “I won’t”

Ymir meets Levi’s gaze, and he understands, feels his heart clench, and nods, wraps an arm around the blonde’s waist and uses his gear to move up and over the rubble, ignores the way Christa screams, kicks, beats at his arm and back and Mikasa follows him without a word. 

~~

They enter a house, find Braun, Arlert and Yeager hiding within it, leaning against the walls. Their heads turn when Levi and Mikasa enter, he moves and places Christa on her feet, who stopped crying a few moments ago, the strength leaving her when he releases her.   
Braun holds her as she nears him, but she doesn’t start crying again.

Levi frowns, attempts not to grimace at the pain in his hip “It’s time we left, retreated to Wall Rose” 

Arlert nods “What about the Colossal Titan?” and he turns to the blonde, shakes his head as he pulls a red flare free from his pack.

“We don’t have the man power, but if you’ve an idea on how to reach the nape of its neck, I’m open to it” he doesn’t load the flare, holds the gun in both hands, points it to the floor. 

Arlert frowns in thought, approaches the closest window, and waits for Levi to join him “The wall is only ten metres shorter than it: almost in line with its nape… if we can get there, we can get whoever is controlling that Titan out” Arlert lowers his voice, leans close to Levi “I think it may be Bertolt, sir”

Levi gazes out into the city, finds the Colossal Titan, it searches, carefully, methodically, for them. “I don’t know about that, but I know that capturing whoever is in there will be more than enough of a result for the brass”

The blonde smiles, nods “Exactly, sir” and Levi nods in return, glad he has someone who thinks almost exactly as Erwin does. 

~~

They move fast and hard, leaping across rooves, speeding past Titans in a dash to the wall, and they make it as the Colossal Titan sights them, changes direction and begins to advance on them.

“Aim for the neck, and arms” he draws his blades, feels his hip twinge in pain and ignores it: just a little longer, a little further, then he can relax, see a flash of pride dart across Erwin’s gaze when Levi tells him of their success. 

He and Mikasa move first, hook into the Colossal Titan’s right arm and speed towards it, arcing until he’s aligned with its shoulder, anchoring to it, arcing, spinning, and slicing clean through the top. Mikasa is right behind him, and they follow one after the other, sweeping back and forth at terrifying speeds until they slice clean away from the shoulder. 

Braun and Lenz are doing the same, while Arlert and Yeager wait, and the blonde girl is the first to falter, the Colossal Titan pulls her down by the wires of her gear, slams her into the earth, leaves her to the hovering Titans. 

Her screams fuel their attacks: the second arm is gone in moments, and Yeager joins the fray, the four of them working at the nape, cutting, sawing in Levi’s case, as he develops a steady rhythm of back and forth, left to right. He has to stop, lands on the wall and catches his breath, hip burning in pain, sending shocks through his leg, up his torso. 

Mikasa loops around the Titans head, and it lunges forward, catches her between its teeth. 

“Mikasa!” it’s a growl, the savage, loud sound does not sound like his voice, and Levi dashes forward, anchors into the Titan’s neck, fails to see the arm that is growing back arcing toward him as he prepares to spin, blades sharp and keen. The still forming hand collides with his body, and he is propelled through the air, gear unhooking from the Colossal Titan’s body. 

Wood groans, splinters, and cracks beneath him as he is thrown through a wall, rolls once, twice, his blades clattering uselessly to the wooden floor. He coughs, blood joins the expended air. He struggles to push himself onto his arms, glances up in time to watch the Colossal Titan bite down, to watch Yeager scream hoarsely, as its teeth become stained in blood, the dark liquid spilling down its chin as the upper half of her body falls from its mouth, dropping uselessly to the road along with her blades. 

“Mi…kasa” Levi coughs and more blood ekes out of his mouth, spills down his chin; his vison blurs, darkens. He’s falling unconscious, and then he can’t see, or hear, anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I should note that during the time of writing this piece, I was practising writing about death and gore, for the purpose of my original works. Unfortunately for my friend, this meant that I killed a lot of people, mainly the 104th. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this seems over-zealous, but personally I feel it reflects the cruel world of Shingeki no Kyojin, and at the time I wanted to emulate the grimness as much as possible. The speculation about future events of SNK starts about here, and it tends to fly right off track. 
> 
> It annoys me now, as I know what happened, and I'm sure it's bound to annoy you too. I share your pain, and thank you for bearing with it.


	8. Chapter Seven

“Lieutenant! Lieutenant Levi?! Wake up! Dammit… please! Wake up!”

Something is touching him: there’s pressure on his shoulders, there’s someone shouting, it hurts his ears, he opens his eyes, his mouth to tell this person so, and meets teary jade before the pressure on his shoulders disappears and there’s something pulling him close.

“Argh!” he groans when Yeager lets go, coughs, spits blood as he attempts to sit up, accepts the hand at the small of his back that guides him “Where are the others?” his voice sounds like he’s been gargling wood chips “Where’s the Colossal Titan?”

“We subjugated it… Armin was right: Bertolt was the shifter controlling it” Yeager’s head is bowed; he can hear the waver in the boy’s voice “I…”

Levi places a hand on the boy’s shoulder “Shut up” his own gaze is on anywhere but the brunette “Don’t apologise” he attempts to get to his feet, and his chest constricts painfully, white hot pain spearing through him “Fuck” he spits the word out, tries to move again and this time, he leans on Yeager and pulls himself to his feet, leans on the brunette until his legs stop shaking. 

“Lieutenant” Yeager’s voice is barely a whisper, and clearly there’s something very interesting on the ground “Mikasa…” he shudders, and it sounds like a sob.

_Blood, flesh, the light fading from her eyes._ “Yeager” it doesn’t get the brunette’s attention “ _Eren_ ” the look in those jade eyes is enough to freeze the callous words on his tongue “We need to move, back to the others, and return to Wall Rose”

“How?” Yeager throws the arm not supporting Levi out to his side “How are we supposed to get back?”

“If we must walk, we will” Levi pushes away from the warm body and collects the handles of his blades, attaches them to a new set of sharpened steel. He looks to the brunette, and almost can’t tear himself away, before he looks out and nods to Arlert and Braun, who are waiting beside a bound Hoover, who refuses to meet Levi’s gaze “Let’s move now”

They make it to the top of the wall, and over, without incident, and travel by foot to the forest, moving by foot until they are forced to climb, then use their gear as the sun rises. Levi sets off a red flare, to mark their retreat, and imminent return, and presses a hand to his ribs, his hip, which are aching, screaming with every movement, not that he shows it to his squad. 

“Lieutenant” Yeager utters softly as they wait for the sun to set “We’re not going to make it back, are we?”

“Where the hell did this attitude come from, Yeager?” he snaps, glaring at the boy “You’re giving up now, of all times?!”

“My friends are dead Levi!” his shout shatters the quiet of the forest, causes Levi, and Arlert, to flinch against his will, Yeager blinks in surprise, and bows his head “It must be difficult to understand for you but I… it was my fault: they died because I didn’t _listen._ ”

“No” Levi snaps “They died because we were betrayed by our fellows” he turns away from the boy and watches him from the corner of his eye “And I do understand”

Yeager is blessedly silent, and Levi pushes off of the branch of the tree, descending it as he forges a path to the next area of dense vegetation he can find. 

They walk through the entire night, and the nearest patch of cover he can find happens to be a cave, low to the ground and deep, enough so that it almost blots out the sun once they reach the back of it, the rumble of Titans walking overhead barely shifting the dirt.

Arlert and Braun talk softly in the corner, Hoover sits silently and Yeager lies on the floor, facing the cave roof. 

Levi sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning throughout the day from his place near the mouth of the cave. His body aches beyond belief, and it’s exhausting, but he can’t sleep, can’t get the blood, the screaming, out of his head for the first time in a long time.

His last living family… gone. Snuffed out by the very thing he’d thought couldn’t kill her, the thing he’d least expected. It wasn’t fair. 

“Lieutenant?”

Levi rolls over, faces Yeager, and raises a brow; the boy has the decency to look sheepish, from his place beside Levi. The brunette rubs the back of neck, and his eyes don’t waver from Levi’s own.

“It’s not your fault either, you know, don’t be a hypocrite” Yeager finally says, eyes gleaming in the low light of the setting sun, shaded by trees and the cave itself. 

Levi scowls “What?” he pushes himself up onto his elbows, glaring. 

“It’s not your fault that everybody died… don’t you dare tell me to not blame myself, when you’re doing the same thing” he makes to protest but Yeager speaks over him “It’s as much my fault as it is yours”

“How dare you” he grates it out, it’s a low growl, but Yeager hasn’t flinched away, he’s refusing to back down. 

“How dare I what?” the boy challenges “Call you out on being a liar? You’ve always cut through the shit Levi, why not now?”

Levi is silent, but he doesn’t turn away, he’s used to Yeager backing down after such a bold statement, so he levels him with a scowl and says nothing. 

“Well?” the boy presses “You’ve always got some bullshit to spout about how you’re my superior, how you know better, how-”

The sound of his fist connecting with Yeager’s jaw cracks throughout the cave, echoing off the walls. Arlert’s head jerks up from his gaze at the ground, and Braun frowns in what looks like thought. Those jade eyes widen in shock, and the boy’s hand reaches up to the angry red patch on his jaw. 

“First off” Yeager says, and they’re on their feet now “How _dare_ you”

“How dare I?” Levi snarls, stepping into the boy’s space, towering over him by the sheer strength of his gaze “How dare you, you insolent little shit. How fucking _dare_ , you question me like that: I _am_ your superior, and you need to watch. Your. Mouth”

“If you’re my superior how come you didn’t help them?!” Yeager exclaims, throwing his hands into the air “How come you watched them die?!” there are tears threatening to spill in his eyes. 

Levi’s tempted to punch him again, maybe break his jaw, but he clenches his own instead, aware that they have an audience “You think I did that on purpose?” he’s surprised that his voice is so soft “You think I _wanted_ them to die?!” he’s snarling again, now, and that’s much better “Fuck you, Yeager”

The boy opens his mouth, and a soft whine leaves it, unbidden, as his knees give way and the tears escape all too eagerly. He’s sobbing, Levi notes numbly, a wrecked sort of sound, like dragging nails on a chalkboard. 

He’s frozen, feet unwilling to leave the floor, rooted to the spot in uncertainty. Yeager whines, pitiful and low in his throat, it shocks Levi out of inaction. He kneels down in front of the boy, places a careful hand on his shoulder, and holds back the wince of pain when Yeager throws himself into Levi’s chest, arms wrapping loosely around his waist. 

He holds himself stiff for a long moment, and then, he relaxes, lets himself sink further into the floor, runs a careful hand through Yeager’s hair “Eren…” he says softly, stunned at the shift of the boy’s demeanour.

“’M sorry” Eren whispers “I’m sorry, Lieutenant”

Levi shushes him, gentle rather than harsh as is the norm for him, and he cards his fingers through the brunette’s hair “I know” he sighs, closes his eyes tightly to stem the tears. 

“I… Mikasa” hands fist into his jacket, and he attempts not to wince in pain when his ribs twinge. 

Levi is floored: he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out, so he holds Eren a little tighter, and lets him cry, lets him release all of the misery he’s clearly been holding in for too long. 

“What am I supposed to do, Levi?” Eren asks, voice small and soft “I’m Humanity’s Last Hope! I can’t even save my friends! How am I supposed to save the world?!”

“Fight” Levi refuses to let the others hear this “Fight to the last – give it everything you have” it’s what he’s told himself to do for years and it hasn’t failed him yet. 

“For what? What’s the point?” it’s a harsh tone, and Eren leans back to meet Levi’s eyes, the jade seems dulled, but maybe it’s the light. 

“Fight for me” Eren gives him a weak smile and Levi can’t help but answer it with a rare one of his own, he reaches up and cups Eren’s cheek, brushes away a tear and ignores the part of him that screams for more “Can you do that?” It's such a dirty trick: he should be feeling terrible for it, but doesn't, wonders instead if he's really as heartless as they all say.

“I guess” Eren chokes out through a sob, a few defiant tears tracking their way down his face. 

“Good” Levi says gently, pulling away from the boy and standing up, examining the sky outside, regarding the rest of his squad “The sun has almost set – let’s get moving”

“Levi” Eren’s voice is a whisper, his hand catches Levi’s wrist, and he tugs it out of the boy’s grip. 

“Let’s go” he repeats firmly, stepping out of the cave before there can be any further talking. 

~~

Levi leads his squad through the trees by night, and hides them away by day – he ignores Yeager’s outburst in the cave, and his own, but the brunette is adamant in making sure its remembered – as far as the deadline is concerned, they have almost gone over it, and if that happens, they’ll be considered dead. 

Two nights later and the top of Wall Rose is visible through the trees: it’s a relief. Levi spends the sunrise watching the wall when it’s not obscured by titans, his legs singing in a good way: from the exertion of climbing the tree. His chest is so painful now, it hurts to breathe, he’s worried there are fractured or broken ribs, but knows he can do nothing until they get inside the wall.

Yeager and he are sharing a branch: Arlert and Braun are talking about the forest, and how the trees grow to be so tall. Levi knows they are trying to distract themselves, and his fists clench tightly in frustration, he sighs, breathes in the fresh air and closes his eyes as the sun hits his face, truly past the horizon.

He retreats close to the trunk, joins Yeager, sits down and lets his feet dangle over the branch: it’s quiet for the moment, the area devoid of titans, and he wants to make the most of it while it lasts. 

“It’s a nice view, don’t you think?” The brunettes voice is soft, and Levi looks up at the sky. 

The dappled pink and purple of sunrise is gone now, has made way for crystal clear blue, interrupted by the rare white, fluffy, cloud. “It is” he carefully keeps his eyes on the horizon. “I’ve always liked watching the sky”

“Armin and I used to daydream about getting out of these walls” Yeager sighs “I… I’ll fight for that, that and for you, sir”

Levi looks to the brunette, unable to fight the urge to lose himself in that beautiful jade, lays a hand over the boy’s “When the war ends” he entwines their fingers, dreamlike and dazed as he does it “I’ll take you to see the world” he glances back up, shrugs “If you’ll have me, of course”

Yeager grins, squeezes Levi’s hand and they are close, the boy’s free hand is on his shoulder, there’s that charged feeling again and he’s leaning in this time, his eyes fall closed and he hovers. He can feel the brunette’s breath on his face, it ruffles his hair and he’s a coward, turns away and stares very pointedly at the ground beneath them. 

He’s close enough that he is in the brunette’s arms, and he stays there in that loose, hesitant grip “I promised Petra’s parents I’d bring her home safe, you know” his voice is so quiet, he’s glad Yeager is close “Stupid thing to do…” he trails off, pulls one of his knees close to his chest and hunches over it “I seem to make myself a lot of stupid promises, others too”

Yeager’s arms tighten around him, and Levi doesn’t have the strength to fight when he is pulled into the boy’s chest, between his spread legs “You wanted it though, right?” the hand that had been on his shoulder brushes his hair out of his face. “You wanted to bring them all back alive?”

“Of course” he snaps “No leader wishes death on his men” he doesn’t look at the brunette, feels that grip tighten a little more, ignores the pain of his ribs and closes his eyes to the world, just for a moment. 

Yeager’s heartbeat is slightly quicker than usual, but it’s comforting nonetheless. 

His squad moves again shortly after: Titans begin to get too close for comfort, and they don’t stop until they reach the edge of the forest: Wall Rose looms overhead, and the Titans have thinned out. 

Levi stands at the end of a branch, as far as he can go, and Yeager joins him. He feels the two fingered grip around his wrist, breathes out when the boy brushes a thumb along his pulse point. 

He doesn’t pull away. 

~~

Night falls, and Levi retreats to the trunk of the tree, along the same branch, and sits with his squad, pointedly ignores Hoover. 

“We have enough gas to get maybe halfway up the wall without dying” Levi glances back at Wall Rose: it is achingly close; safety is achingly close. 

It’s annoying. 

“What if we just… I don’t know, knocked?” Braun seems serious, but Levi snorts dismissively, stops when the tall blonde touches his arm “I’m serious, sir, if we call for help, identify ourselves, maybe they’ll let us in”

Levi shrugs, looks at and nods to Arlert who does the same “Fuck it, we’ll try”

They make their way down the trees and despite the protest of his ribs, and hip, they jog toward the wall, he puts his hands to it and it’s like it’s a dream, or like waking from a nightmare. 

It’s Yeager who assaults the gate, who screams with deafening volume, who demands entrance, and, shockingly, from on high, Levi spots someone glancing down at them. It takes an hour for the Stationary Guard to get down to them, and the woman that hoists Levi up is a fan, gushes about his skill and thanks him for all of his efforts. 

He doesn’t say a word, is too afraid he’ll crush her hope as easily as a titan would crush him. Medics are on standby, and flock to them, once they get to the top of the wall. Three of his ribs are broken, others fractured, and his hip is all but broken: the doctor says it’s a miracle his lung wasn’t punctured, that he was still walking around.

“Humanity’s Strongest Soldier” he chuckles, and the doctor smiles softly “Tougher than nails, doctor”

Otherwise, he is fine, his squad have only minor cuts and abrasions, and Yeager heals instantly, so Levi counts it as a victory that they made it out relatively unscathed. 

~~ 

The return to headquarters is a silent affair, the minute they are through the gates Hoover is properly restrained, imprisoned beneath the ground; Braun, Yeager, and Arlert all salute him, and then walk away, likely to relax, to sleep on a surface that does not poke at their backs, force them to sit up and shift constantly. 

To Levi, it sounds like heaven on earth. He trudges upstairs, walks along hallways until he comes to his room, passes by his desk and into the bathroom, where he runs the water for a bath. 

He strips, careful not to agitate his hip or ribs, starts with the harnesses, which he unbuckles with a calm precision, his boots joining the straps on his bed in the next room. His pants are binned, too stained, torn, to serve him well. His shirt goes too, and the cravat. The jacket is useless to him: tattered and thin, and it all goes away. 

By the time he has stripped down, the bath is filled with near hot water – hot enough to be comfortable, almost to burn – just the way he likes it, and he slips in, watches as the blood, dirt and sweat seems to fall from him. 

He starts scrubbing, attempts to remove the dirt and blood from his very core, from the inside which has been filthy for too long, since the time he’d swallowed his pride, and other disgusting things, just for the money to fill whatever stomach he had had at the time. 

The dirt, blood, under his nails is gone, and he pulls his head under, holds his breath and then surfaces, runs fingers through his hair, wet now rather than oily, drenched in sweat and blood. 

_‘Blood, hers, everywhere, running, dripping through his fingers and the sound of screaming-’_

Levi blinks, shakes his head to free himself of the vision, and sighs, buries his face in his hands, curls up and goes as low into the water as possible, without submerging his mouth. He closes his eyes, breathes out, and the air shudders through him. 

“Oh, fuck” his voice echoes through the room, sounds broken to his own ears: it’s been a while since the dreaming, the visions during the day, have affected him, and he supposes it was only a matter of time. 

He hears the soft sound of a fire being lit in the next room, and he flinches in surprise, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm down. After a moment, he gets out of the water, and dries himself off, wraps the towel around his waist and drains the water. 

Hange is in the next room, two glasses of red wine in front of her, accompanied by the bottle, buried in cold water to keep it so: the ice melting in the heat of the fire. Levi sighs, runs a hand through his damp hair and she smiles, waits for him to dress before handing him the glass, which he takes, and downs in one swift movement. 

Levi leans against her, and she wraps an arm around his shoulders “I’m sorry, Levi”

He sighs, stares into the fire “It’s alright, Four-Eyes: Yeager’s likely feeling it more than I am”

“Sure” her tone says she doubts him, and her grip tightens “But he has Armin, and I’m not just here to help you through this, I’m here because I’m worried” her gaze meets his, and Levi feels a little guilty beneath it “The doctors mentioned you were badly injured… I can’t stop you from continuing, won’t try, but you’re going to keep pushing and I need you to be careful”

Levi opens his mouth to tell her not to worry, but then falls silent: she’d likely heard him only minutes ago, sounding broken, fearful, rather than put together as he should be. 

Hange chuckles, pours him another glass, clinks them together and sips at hers “Erwin won’t know the difference, I think, you’ll give him your report, and he’ll throw something else at you”

“I am his, it’s to be expected” it pours out of his mouth as easily as wine from a bottle, and he smacks his palm to his forehead, groans “I sound like Yeager”

Hange laughs, and relaxes with him: she stays late into the night, and by that time Levi is drunk enough, tired enough, that as soon as he hits the bed, sleep claims him. 

~~

Levi wakes the next morning to the sun in his eyes, and he rolls over, curses his lack of forethought in choosing a room with an east facing window. He groans, stretches and sits up, collecting his pants and attempting to struggle into them. They hurt, constrict the muscle of his hip, which burns white hot when he attempts to pull his pants over the bone and to his waist. 

He yelps in pain, then forgoes the uniform entirely, opts for dark cotton pants that do not constrict his legs, a loose shirt, and a black jacket made of a light material draped over his shoulders, soft and comfortable as opposed to the harsh leather he so usually wore. He approaches his Commander’s office, bone-weary and sore, and he knocks, salutes gingerly, loosely because he is cautious of hurting his ribs, his hip, further “Sir”

“Levi” Erwin is facing the window, lone hand resting on the sill, and he nods, indicates Levi should approach. “I hear you’ve apprehended Hoover, Arlert claims he’s the Colossal Titan… Is this true?”

Levi wants nothing more than to slip beneath Erwin’s arm, bury his head in the tall man’s chest and close his eyes. As it is, he shifts in place, closes his eyes tightly. “Yes, sir – Hoover was pulled from the nape of its neck – Yeager and Braun will back Arlert up, and I’ll vouch for him”

“And you?” Erwin’s gaze betrays nothing “The doctors mentioned you took some serious damage to your hip, and your ribs”

“I’m fine, sir” he gazes out at the horizon, feels it’s much safer this way because Erwin can’t read his eyes “What have I missed, and what do you need?”

For the first time since they’d been together, Erwin drops his stance, leans against the nearby wall and sighs, scrubs a hand over his face, pats the sill so that Levi obeys, sits on it and leans close. “That Titan showed up within the walls again” Erwin closes his eyes “We’ve taken to calling it the Beast Titan… it killed Mike, apparently it spoke, but I’m whittling that down to terrified recruits”

“Mike?” Levi’s voice catches: that man had been Erwin’s closest friend and confidant “He’s… shit, I’m sorry Erwin” he calls the blonde by his first name, because the titles have dropped now, they are speaking personally for the first time in years. 

“Thank you, Levi” and when he leans his head near Levi, he runs his hands through soft blonde hair, and it’s almost as though the last few years haven’t happened, “I’m fine, I will be, at least, when we uncover the mystery of that Titan, and the Yeagers’ basement”

“I hope it proves your father right” Levi’s voice is soft, and he knows he’s not out of line when Erwin squeezes his knee gently “I hope those kids didn’t die in vain”

“Me too” Erwin whispers “God… me too, more than anything”

Levi chuckles “We need to interrogate Hoover, and forge a path to Wall Maria, don’t we?”

“We do, Lieutenant” Erwin helps him down from the sill, careful not to strain his hip “I’ll put you in charge of it: consider it a light duty and be sure to report back”

Levi offers a rare smile, salutes and reclaims his professional nature “Yes, sir, of course”

“Dismissed, Lieutenant” the look in Erwin’s eyes says ‘thank you’ and somehow, it helps Levi feel less like he’s drowning. He turns on his heel and leaves the office, towards his own, opens the door because he can’t appear to the scouts dressed as casually as he is. 

He runs into Yeager as the boy is exiting the room, clearly in search of Levi himself, and the brunette catches him, there is no smile of apology.

Levi raises a brow, takes a step back, and folds his arms when Yeager follows him, almost backing him into the door. 

“What’s next?” Yeager sounds angry, and Levi wants to laugh, it’s about time they had this out. 

“We get information from Hoover, and wait for Commander Erwin’s orders” he steps around the brunette, and moves to approach his desk, which is blessedly devoid of paperwork. 

“What about everyone that died out there, are we just going to forget them?”

Levi stops dead, stands before the front of his desk, he doesn’t turn around, but has painted Yeager’s fiery rage within his mind’s eye. “Yes” it kills him to pretend he doesn’t see Mikasa’s eyes deaden as the Colossal Titan bites down “For now”

He hears the brunette’s approach, has anticipated it, feels a hard grip on his shoulders, lets himself be turned around, slammed against the desk so hard the wood scrapes loudly against stone. With practised ease, he brings his knee up, effectively doubles Yeager over, puts pressure on the boy’s shoulder to send him sprawling, coughing, gasping for air. 

His hip burns white hot, and he bites his inner cheek to stem the pain. 

“Dammit Yeager!” he snarls “Back. Off. I don’t make the fucking rules: you can mourn them later!”

“Fuck you Levi!” Yeager spits back, and Levi is momentarily stunned “You’re as pissed about it as I am! Why the hell don’t you just admit it?!”

“There is a time and place” he watches cautiously as the brunette stands, prepares for a fight “It isn’t here”

“Then where?! When?!” the brunette corners him, the back of Levi’s thighs are against the desk again. “I lost too much out there! What the hell do you expect me to do?!”

“I told you” Levi leans backwards, tries to create some distance “Keep fighting”

“That’s not going to bring them back!” the boy chokes it out, and Levi flinches when he’s caged in by Eren’s arms, which rest at either side of his hips, where his hands press against the desk “I… Lieutenant I will follow you to hell and back, but… I can’t be like you, I’m not strong enough”

Levi chuckles, catches Yeager’s gaze. “You think I’m strong, Yeager?” it’s soft, and the brunette blinks at him in confusion. The roiling feeling in his gut is familiar now, whenever he turns his eyes on the boy, the heat that seems to thrive between their bodies all too apparent. “Why do you think all I do is fight?” he leans forward, both to whisper and to obey some sort of incredible magnetism. 

Eren closes Levi’s mouth with his own, and Levi thinks it’s a good move, that the brunette didn’t want to hear what else Levi had to say as much as he didn’t want to say the words. He kisses back, and it’s like opening a flood gate, and the boy’s hand works into his hair while Levi wraps his arms around Eren’s waist, pulls him close.   
Those fingers in his hair are like fire; the kiss is heady, desperate and uncoordinated, so much that Levi pulls away, sucks in a breath. 

“Eren” it slips free traitorously, whispered like a prayer, and it’s supposed to be followed by _‘This is a bad idea’_ or _‘We shouldn’t do this now’_ but the boy reads it as an invitation, and when an inexperienced tongue swipes at his bottom lip he is powerless. Levi can only hold tight and hope he doesn’t drown, sighs softly, a quiet moan really, when fingernails scrape gently against his scalp; gasp sharply when a thigh presses between his own, shut his eyes when Eren’s lips trail down his neck, his hands down his back.

It’s only when he’s able to gather his control, recollect the façade from where it lies broken on the floor, that he manages to pry the boy away from him. 

He wants to plead that they stop, that this is not what should be happening, but there’s undeniable lust in those jade eyes, he doubts his own eyes are absent of it, and it’s almost a relief to be this close to the brunette. 

He should stop. 

Stop. 

“Fuck it” he whispers, grips Eren by the collar and pulls the brunette down, lies flat on the desk and wraps his legs around a slim, muscular waist. 

Levi claims those lips, guides with teeth and tongue, uses his hands to guide Eren’s own, releasing the boy’s wrists when he gets the point and his hands roam, firm and sure. Levi’s own hands fist in a jacket collar, keep those lips on his own, and he gasps when Eren _bites_. 

“Brat” he growls, and Eren chuckles, presses a kiss to his neck. 

“Sorry sir” and the boy is practically purring, it shoots straight through him and he lets his head tip back, lets those lips trail down his neck and wonders how far the brunette will go. 

There’s knock at the door. 

Levi shuts his eyes in frustration, gently pushes Yeager off of him with a firm “Stop” and opens the door, revealing Arlert, who salutes. 

“Sir, uh, Bertolt is bound, ready for us to talk with him” 

He nods, pats Arlert on the shoulder and turns back to Yeager “Coming?” he walks on, and hears two sets of footsteps scramble to keep up.


	9. Chapter Eight

Hoover looks up to him when he enters, boots clicking finitely against the stone, nods to Braun who is leaning against the wall, arms folded and expression impassive. 

Levi stands before the boy, a member of _his squad_ , and folds his arms “There are two ways this can go, Hoover” he shifts in place, and his hip stings in pain “I’m not in the mood to get violent, but if you force my hand then a few bruises will heal right up in moments, the brass won’t know a damn thing” 

“So, let’s get this over with, why the fuck are you doing it?” he tries very hard to keep his voice free of heat, but from the way Yeager flinches, he knows he’s failed “Why are you destroying the walls?”

Hoover looks right at him, doesn’t shy away, doesn’t flinch beneath his gaze “I can’t tell you… I’m sorry”

Levi’s jaw clenches, and he feels Braun shift behind him “Come on, Bertolt, this is serious: we’re supposed to be working to defend the wall, not destroying it”

Hoover’s face pinches “What do you mean, Reiner? We’re not soldiers, we’re _warriors_ ” that word silences Braun, and Levi narrows his eyes in suspicion, but decides to leave it for now, address it later. 

“Why can’t you tell me?” Levi sets his jaw, kneels down level to the boy “Does it have anything to do with that Beast Titan?” Hoover flinches, and he knows now that there’s something about that other Titan that they are missing “Talk”

“I… can’t” Hoover’s gaze lowers, and Levi growls, stands, and looks to his squad “Get out”

They leave without question, and it’s a relief, Levi returns to Hoover “Tell me” he kicks at the boy’s side, enough that he feels it, but not enough to hurt yet “This won’t end well: you and Leonheart are both the people I want most to kill right now: the brass is the only thing protecting you”

“I can’t” Hoover won’t look at him, and Levi growls, lashes out with a swift kick across the boy’s jaw and feels no better. 

“It’s that Beast Titan, isn’t it?” his voice is low, and he folds his arms “If we must cut all of you out of your Titan forms then so be it” he turns on his heel, and approaches the door. 

“Wait! Levi wait!” Hoover’s voice wavers, and he turns to the boy, raises a brow and watches him bow his head “He’s… he’s at the head of all this but I can’t tell you any more than that… alright?”

Levi huffs a laugh “We’ll see, Hoover, only the next few weeks will tell”

~~

He gets back into manoeuvre gear within the first week back at base. Goes out into the forest and just hacks away at trees, carves deep marks in them that stand out, stark and obvious in the distance. 

Tonight, he stops as the sun starts to set, hip on fire, ribs singing in pain as he shuffles out of the gear, cleans it, and leaves it at the check-in point. 

His chest is heaving in exhaustion, and he takes a long walk, lets his mind wander away from the base, brings it back when it starts to linger on Mikasa, and the rest of the 104th, who were dead, likely too easy to forget. 

It’s fucking depressing, and the wind tugs at his jacket, cold and uninviting, reminds him that autumn is around the corner, and he retreats indoors, back to his room, where the fire is lit, and Hange is waiting for him. 

Levi knows why she’s doing it: she knows that left alone, Levi will dwell on the most recent deaths, and while she doesn’t know about his relationship to Mikasa, he knows Hange sees right through his act, and unlike Erwin, wants him to let the façade drop, if only for a night. 

The wine helps. 

He sits beside her, feels warmer from her company, and from the fire itself, which crackles merrily between them, and takes a long drink from the glass, lets Hange refill it. “They shouldn’t have died” he begins, gazes into the fire “I should have been there, Hange”

“You were there: you did what you always do, you stayed with them until the end, and they didn’t die alone” Hange lays a hand on his knee, squeezes with a gentle smile “I know Eren’s angry, but he’ll understand”

Levi’s gaze flicks up to her, sucks in a nervous breath “You… you’ve been speaking with Yeager?” they haven’t spoken since that morning in his office: what Levi has decided was a terrible lapse in judgment, and hopes to never speak of again. 

Hange grins, leers at him “You rouge” she laughs “He’s very unsure of what to do now, and how to treat you: it’s endearing”

He laughs, shakes his head “I don’t want to talk about it” he takes another drink from the glass as she shakes her head at him. 

“I know you don’t, Levi, but it’s a _good thing_ : about time you stopped shutting people out, especially considering the last time you had sex it was with-”

“Erwin” Levi rushes to stop Hange talking “I know, trust me” he chuckles, runs a hand through his hair “I believe you it’s just… look, he’s young, and stupid, and-”

“And he’s seen shit that drives most men to despair, or away from the military” Hange squeezes his knee again “From what he’s said, it sounds like he started it, and, I mean… are you really going to let him keep the advantage?”

Levi looks to her, opens his mouth to protest “You’re playing me” Hange grins, humour sparkling in her eyes, and he smiles. 

They share a laugh, and it’s almost like growing wings. 

~~

“Has Bertolt said anything yet?”

Levi looks up from the paperwork in his hand, shifts from his place on the window sill, and shakes his head at Yeager “You’re tougher, but he’s better at keeping secrets”

The brunette huffs a laugh that sounds bitter, heated “I can’t believe this” the boy then perches on Levi’s desk, toys with his hands. 

“At least we have evidence that talks, now” he turns a page of the paper, marks an error down within the margin of the page “The brass can’t ignore that, will have to aid us, listen to Commander Erwin for once” he scratches out a passage, rewrites it with a little less swearing, a little more information. 

“Are… Are we going to talk about what happened?” 

Levi looks up from his work, narrows his eyes and then turns his gaze out of the window “No… we’re not” 

“Why not?!” Yeager pushes off from the desk, and the placated anger is replaced with something that borders on rage, a much more familiar emotion to Levi. “Give me one good reason!”

“Because we are at war” he places the paperwork on the sill, stands and folds his arms “And it’s not the time, nor the place, for this sort of drama” Levi has been thinking on it during the last few days, has decided he won’t be hurt, won’t risk the remainder of his heart, soul, and body, what Erwin doesn’t own, only to lose it all with Yeager’s death, or an inevitable breakup. “And we shouldn’t have done it”

If Yeager hadn’t been angry before, then he certainly was now “And why the fuck not, Levi? You can’t tell me you didn’t like it, didn’t feel something!”

“For fuck’s sake Eren!” his voice echoes, and the brunette seems to freeze at the mention of his name “I don’t want to get hurt!” Levi blinks in surprise: it was meant to be _‘I don’t want to hurt you’_ , but what he’s said… he swallows thickly, watches Eren’s eyes dance, shuffle through several emotions at once. 

The brunette crosses the gap between them, reaches out to Levi, who flinches, but closes the distance, and lets himself be held tightly. He closes his eyes, sighs softly, and buries his face in Yeager’s chest, hums softly at the feeling of fingers in his hair. 

“That’s the last thing I want to do, Levi” the brunette’s hands are warm, soothing, and it’s such a stark contrast to how cold he is, inside and out “I’m… sorry: I probably could have done this thing better but after what happened out there I- I don’t blame you, but I’m angry”

Levi nods, and his voice is muffled “I’m angry too” he wraps his arms around Yeager’s waist and squeezes tightly “I’m fucking furious” 

Eren chuckles, and the grip the boy has on him tightens “Good… I’m glad… but we’re okay, right?”

He knows what that question is directed towards, and he’s terrified of what the answer is “We’re okay, Yeager”

~~

In roughly three weeks Levi manages to get nothing from Hoover, and he finds himself within his office, considering rounding on Braun, and forcing the blonde to talk, because he’s sure the boy knows something, thinks it has something to do with the word warrior. 

He’s cleaning his office, in an attempt to stay away from the ODM, because he’s been told by their resident medics that he’s doing nothing good for his hip, which needs to heal, not to be worked over and over until he can’t walk on it. 

His ribs are healing, slowly but surely, and the week he’s spent away from tight harnesses and the harsh movement of slashing through thick wood has done nothing but helped. 

Levi glances up at the sound of the door, and rises from where he’d been crouching to pick up a few fallen papers, offers a salute to his Commander without pause, and places the now neatly stacked papers on his desk. 

“We’re going to launch another expedition to Wall Maria” Erwin approaches after closing the door, and Levi shifts his stance, suddenly uncomfortable in his own room. “The brass wants a success, have figured that if a small group of nine or so recruits, with you in the lead, can breach the wall, then the legion should have no trouble”

Levi folds his arms, leans on the front of his desk “And… what does that mean, for us? We have Hoover locked up, we can’t just leave him here… can we?”

Erwin approaches, footsteps slow, deliberate, and Levi shifts to the side so that he can lean beside him “We’ll leave behind a token force, just in case Hoover attempts to escape” his gaze catches Levi’s “We need to make this move: the brass has never given us an opportunity like this before and we need to take it”

“Yes, sir” he’s surprised when Erwin places a hand on his shoulder and meets his gaze. 

“I’d rather have this done now” Erwin tells him “I don’t want to dwell on what happened to the 104th, and Mike… I know you don’t either”

Levi nods, once, stiffly “Yes, sir” he says it so harshly he’s surprised Erwin doesn’t flinch, and his Commander nods, pulls free a map from his jacket, which is marked in various colours, detailed with various shapes. 

“The plan is to forge a path through the various forests that cover the terrain” Erwin tells him “We’ll take the horses, but when the Titans grow in numbers as we near the wall, the trees will give us an advantage, rather than leaving us open to an attack out on the plains”

Levi nods “What about that Beast Titan, and the Armoured Titan?”

“If either should appear, we’ll have to fight them, and attempt to take them down as a legion… we need to close off Wall Maria to get anywhere with these Titans, and with the brass” Erwin meets Levi’s gaze, and he sighs “A gamble, I know, but like I said: the brass has given us some slack”

“We need to take advantage of it” Levi nods, and salutes his Commander as the man pushes off his desk, and leaves the room. 

Levi sighs, runs his fingers through his hair, messes it up as he goes, pulls at it as he sinks down to sit at the foot of his bed. He closes his eyes and swears softly, and jerks his head up to a knock at his door, watches Yeager enter, and close it behind him. He finds himself swallowing down a flutter of trepidation as Eren approaches him, and its without fear, without falter, that he crouches down in front of Levi and meets his eyes.

“I noticed Commander Erwin leaving” Eren seems suddenly shy, he shifts from the crouch to his knees, rests both hands in his lap. 

“I don’t want to talk about it” he doesn’t shy from the boy’s gaze, and Yeager fists a hand through brunette locks, looks uneasy. 

“Sir, I’m sorry for my outburst: it was… well, I shouldn’t have done it, and of course I kissed you without your-”

Levi pulls the boy in by the nape of his neck, and connects their lips firmly, tilts his head when Eren doesn’t fight him and passes a tongue over the boy’s lips, almost grins at the sigh that escapes the brunette’s mouth when he opens it. 

There are careful hands resting on his shoulders, and it’s almost infuriating how gentle he’s being. Levi hooks a leg around Eren’s waist and tips them backwards, the kiss disconnecting when they hit the bed. He tilts his head backwards, baring his neck when Eren kisses it, thrusts his fingers through soft, brown hair and closes his eyes. 

“There… we’re even now” he rumbles, gasping when the flat of Eren’s tongue draws up his neck “Eren” he whispers it, almost like a prayer, unsure when he’d started feeling like this, when the idea of Eren lying between his legs was one he couldn’t banish without feeling empty, when the heat had become this intense between them.

He grinds his hips to Eren’s, earns a gasp and soft lips pressing to his, the kiss searing and still virginal. Levi considers that he may have been the brunette’s first kiss as he encourages the boy’s tongue into his mouth, as Eren’s hips stutter into his, sending sparks of pleasure shooting up his spine. 

He gasps softly, and Eren seems to catch the noise with a sharp intake of breath, another roll of his hips and Levi makes a chocked noise within the back of his throat. 

“Lieutenant” it’s tentative, and Levi raises a brow, meets the boy’s eyes.

“Just Levi” he wraps a sure hand around the nape of Eren’s neck, smiles softly “When we’re alone, anyway”

“We’re going out again, aren’t we?” the boy asks, and it’s strange how he can go from a nervous teen to a serious young man within seconds. 

Levi’s fingers are tracing patterns on the brunette’s biceps, his leg is hooked around a tapered waist, and he doesn’t want to talk about the expedition. “Yes”, he’s surprised when Eren leans back down and kisses him. 

It’s slow, languid, and they take their time, the heat between them a slow burn; Eren is hesitant, and Levi is patient. The brunette warms quickly, grows bolder as his hands wrap around Levi’s hips, hold them firmly as though he’s going to go somewhere. 

It’s when he grips Eren’s shoulders in the same way, when he wraps himself as closely to the boy as he can get, that he knows he’s in too deep. 

Eren’s hips snap against his, and Levi arches beneath him, trying to maintain that glorious contact for just a second longer, prolong the shoot of heat that rockets through his spine, pools in his groin. “Brat” he tries to bite it out, to growl it, but it’s a thin dissatisfying gasp instead. 

Levi scowls when Eren chuckles, warm fingers brushing the pulse point of his left wrist, coaxing it away from Eren’s shoulder, the fingers curling round and pinning that wrist to the bed. It’s gentle, but the intent is more than clear when a thigh presses in tight against his own, bringing forth a gasp as he rocks against it, eyes shuttering closed. 

There’s heat coursing between them, a thin, intangible string of luxurious heat and it’s turning him pliant, cutting away at his inner voice which screams at him to take control, to reprimand the boy currently nipping at his neck, running the flat of his tongue over each point those teeth attack. 

It’s enough to drive him into flipping them over with a wicked twist of his hips, straddling the brunette and smirking at the look of surprise on the boy’s face. He shucks off his jacket, flings it in the direction of a chair, and scrambles to his feet to remove his boots, watches Eren attempt to do the same with his feet, managing one before Levi’s hands take over and slide the other off. 

He pushes Eren back onto the bed, straddles him, surprised at how fervent he seems; he wonders briefly if it’s because he doesn’t have anything to lose, and Eren is thinking much the same. Eren sits up beneath him, and it pushes their crotches together which brings the two of them to a stuttering halt, so Levi takes the opening and kisses the brunette, helps him remove his own jacket with closed eyes, follows the jacket with Eren’s shirt. 

There’s that same contrast between them, the pale skin of his hands and the deep tan of the boy’s own; he’s warm, too, a wonderful benefit, he thinks, of being a titan-shifter. Levi leans over the taller male and presses a chaste kiss beneath the boy’s jaw, before he sets his mouth on that well-muscled chest, littering marks across it with teeth and tongue, grinding his hips down in a stuttering rhythm that Eren is trying to match. 

It’s uncomfortable, and Eren’s hands are fumbling in their attempts to remove his cravat, but he’s not moving, and he’s certainly not helping the boy, because the small sighs, the almost silent whines, and the eventual groans of both pleasure and frustration, are more than worth hearing.

Levi takes pity on Eren only when those warm hands switch to working on the buttons of his shirt, finding this task much easier, he divests himself of the cravat, and allows the boy to slide the shirt off of his shoulders. 

Then he remembers the fact that his chest, his torso, is littered with scars, remembers the large, offensive teeth marks that curl around his left side.

From the way Eren looks at the scar, he thinks the boy forgot as well. He’s arrested by fear, and a sudden, uncharacteristic dash of insecurity, that quickens his breath in a way that isn’t pleasant in the slightest. 

Levi watches Eren carefully, waits for the brunette to make a move, to do something, and then careful, warm fingers trace the bite mark, skate the waist of his pants before a sudden boldness over takes him and that article of clothing disappears as well. 

“It trails just beneath my hip” he settles back into Eren’s lap, sighs as open palms run down the front of his chest, careful and warm. His hair falls into his face when his bows his head, and it’s briefly annoying. 

“Does it still hurt?” Eren asks, and a hand curls around his waist almost protectively. 

“In the cold” he curls a hand around the boy’s own “But other than that? No, not at all” his gaze is drawn to Eren’s when the boy tilts up his chin, presses their lips together for a brief moment. 

“Do you like it?” Eren’s gaze is steady, and Levi admires the fact that he’s brave enough to ask this, feels suddenly like he’s at a disadvantage, and he shakes his head wordlessly.

“Fucking hell Yeager” he whispers softly “I’d be truly fucked up if I liked it”

Eren laughs softly “I suppose so” it’s diplomatic, and he kisses Levi once more “I like it – makes you look human”

Levi shoves the brunette, and he falls backwards onto the bed with little resistance “You fucking sap” he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s actually touched at what Eren thinks. 

Eren shrugs, the sheets shift beneath his shoulders “It’s true, Levi”

He runs a hand through his hair, pushes it away and out of his face “We could die, tomorrow” it slips out traitorously, brings about a heavy silence along with it, and the heat almost dissipates between them. 

Eren’s hands come to rest on his bare thighs, warm despite the chilled air of the room “We could” the boy’s voice is soft softly, and those jade eyes hold an underlying fear, beneath the roiling mixture of arousal and something else Levi can’t name. “Are you scared?”

“No” he replies instantly, brings their lips together, shifts when Eren sits up, wraps his arms around the taller male’s shoulders “I’m not scared” he says it firmly, rests his forehead in the crook of Eren’s neck, and closes his eyes. 

“I am” the brunette’s fingers thread through his hair, tug at the strands to pull Levi away from his neck “Scared of losing you, and Armin”

Levi nods, kisses the boy deeply, sighs when Eren pushes him back to the bed, rests his warm hands at Levi’s hips, slips a tongue past his teeth, curls it with his own. The brunette grins when the next roll of his hips pulls free a low, guttural moan from Levi, and he tosses his head back when one of Eren’s hand cups his crotch, squeezes gently. 

“I…” he opens his eyes when Eren laughs softly, props himself up on his elbows “Have no clue what I’m doing”

Levi grins “Well, at least you’re admitting it” he sits up, “Get undressed” and as the brunette stands to obey, he divests himself of his boxers, watches Eren’s pants and boxers on their path down the boy’s legs, lets his gaze linger on hips, grins when Eren turns back, joins him on the bed. 

“God it’s freezing” the brunette exhales softly when Levi pushes him down onto the bed, kisses his neck, feels the boy press into his touch. 

“Nervous?” he nods when Eren does, “I was too” he takes the boy’s length in hand, runs a thumb over the head and smiles when Eren’s eyes flutter closed, feels his own arousal twitch at the soft groan that leaves the brunette’s mouth “It’ll be weird, at first, and if you want to stop, we will”

“I… okay” Eren opens his eyes again, runs a tongue along his lips and Levi bites his almost instinctually “Alright”

Levi nods, breathes in deeply and pushes two fingers into his own mouth, licks over them with his tongue, strokes Eren’s member gently, watches the boy squirm, sigh, huff in response. He groans when Levi squeezes as his hand reaches the base, and his hips buck. 

He circles one wet finger around the brunette’s entrance, catches Eren’s gaze before he pushes it in, carefully, slowly, listening to the low hiss the boy lets free. Once he feels Eren relax, he thrusts the one finger back and forth, slowly, gauging a response. 

“You… you’re right” Eren’s voice is strained, his eyes are closed, and Levi notes that a fist is curled into the sheets “It does feel weird, but, good, too”

He hums in reply, presses a kiss to the brunette’s inner thigh, bites as he pulls his hand back, adds a second finger and hears a stuttered groan from Eren, curls both digits and grins when the boy cries out. “Fuck! What…”

“Alright?” Levi repeats the action, gets the same response, and confirms he’s managed to find Eren’s prostate, stretches his fingers within the boy. 

Eren groans low in his throat “Oh, fuck, yes… fuck”

Levi nods, pulls his fingers free and spits into his hand, tries not grimace at the thought of saliva all over his hand as he coats his own length with it, lines himself up and pushes into Eren’s entrance, keeps the movement achingly slow. 

His hips stutter as his hips meet Eren’s rear, and he hears the brunette breathe out loudly through his nose, and Levi cups Eren’s jaw with his hand “You okay?” and he smiles when the boy opens his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m o-okay” he stutters when Levi shifts his hips, bows his head and does it again, revels in the tight heat and keeps his movements slow, gentle “Oh… fuck… more”

Soon, they are meeting one another, thrust for thrust, their bodies finding a rhythm that drives heat through both of them, has Eren muffling moans into an arm, Levi holding his own back for fear they will echo traitorously through the room, perhaps further than that. 

Eren cries out, goes completely stiff and Levi feels the building heat within him snap, his hips stuttering to a halt as he exhales harshly, catches himself before he collapses on the brunette beneath him. Eren’s hands comb through his hair, and he sighs, leans down and kisses the boy. 

“Alright?” he pants, brings a hand up to cup Eren’s face and the boy smiles, kisses Levi and whines when he gets up, finds a towel and dampens it, cleans them off and throws it into the basket he keeps for laundry, buries them both beneath the blankets. 

He chuckles when Eren pulls him to his chest, sighs at the kiss to his temple and falls asleep to the sound of the boy’s breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> An explanation of Levi's scar: So, I know now (after watching the OVA) that Levi's past is sad and scary and I'd already been speculating about that from his first appearance, but before I learnt all of that I figured that he must have been such a cocky shit when he joined the Scouts. 
> 
> So what I wanted was something to humble him, and a greater reason for him to grow so loyal to Erwin. So I figured why not have Erwin save him? The research behind the theoretical damage a bite like that could do took over and I'm such a sucker for big nasty scars that I couldn't resist using that sort of event to humble Levi. 
> 
> Why the left side? Because that's important to the story.


End file.
